When you don’t have a friend to talk to, you create one…!!!!

I started writing when I was young and didn’t had any friends. For a long time in my life I didn’t had real friends, the ones who stick with you. Or any kind. So I carved them in diaries and back pages of school notebooks with a name and a story. I created my own friends.

I started writing in search of friends and back then it was easy because I hadn’t crossed the point of life where you bump into truth, get married and stuck in a sour relationship. Finding truth is like getting stuck in a one way lane, there is no way back.

I still write but now I know things.

Stories melt, fictional friends evaporate and it leaves a hole little too deeper to be filled.

I think the only reason I write is because I was born with a story too.

Superheroes and writers have one thing in common…they both hide behind something…whether it’s a mask or a pen and a paper!

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Super heroes are pathological lairs…!!!!

Today a weird but factually correct thought crossed my mind, i’m a pathological liar and a narcissist. Yes, together these words are a very bad combination and under any circumstances a person with such abilities is usually doomed to sink. But, in my case i think these are few of many reasons i am surviving.

Now that i think about it, i lie all the time all day long. Sometimes i lie to people because i have no energy to explain them my reasons to ignore the social events or gatherings or things. Sometimes i lie to people because only i know there is no answer to questions like ‘You okay?’. Sometimes lying is so easy because i do not under any circumstances want to talk about words like ‘love’, marriage’ and ‘relationships’. Then there are lies i offer to people who matter for real, people who love me but often get burdened by my inability to be like them. I lie to family and friends because i believe some questions must remain unanswered for sake of effin peace.

I don’t know if there will ever be a day when i will no more have to lie…I guess, the mask you wear becomes who you are…the case of a lie and a liar…

I don’t know why the thought, because I’ve had an amazing day today. Kind of rosy and peachy Friday for me. I think it has to do with the week. I think it’s also coming from the sleep deprived mind of mine that i have been starving of a good 8 hours of nap time.

I’m eagerly waiting for my book from Amazon which would arrive around 16.

Better go now, it was a good day today. Because it was one of those days where you learn that even though all you see are threads there is a hand too, holding you, trying to make sure you don’t fall.

P.S Once again Agnes Obel is amazing…

she is a girl who pretends to a be a super hero with loud music in her portable stereo…

She is stronger than you know

She is a super hero

Fighting for the grace

wearing a different face

everyday she gets up

picks up the pieces

and puts them together

no matter what season or weather

she never for once stops to

breathe or smile when the world needs

even when she is hurting

and the heart bleeds

She has a secret too

a love story & heartache so blue

darkness to fight

day & night

as she wears a suit

in pursuit

of happiness hidden

and out of sight

she lives with a secret

that makes her different

which is why she has spent

every day every second

wearing a face to blend

in a world of normal

but deep down

inside somewhere behind her frown

she is a girl

who wants to pull on

the stitches of the face

she wears

she is just a girl

who wants to embrace

her stories

her miseries

the pain and the scars

she wants to see the stars

with a naked face

beingĀ  a part of the creator

& his grace

but she is a super hero

a fighter

she looks weaker

but is stronger

than you know

hidden behind a cape & a disguise

she falls hard yet she rise

every day every night

hiding in a plain sight

she is a girl

who pretends to a be a super hero

with loud music

in her portable stereo…