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Batman just had a long weekend with her person. I know I’m screwed at so many levels and my future is a bright dark wallpaper but right now, right here I’m in my happy place. Sometimes I wonder what would I do without my person.
Little sad that I’m going back to my city today, but dude I needed this break. For now I’m grateful for the weekend.
P.S I have decided to blame my obsession for Starbucks on You’ve Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly and my ADD…!!!!
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Past 2-3 days have been kind of hard on me and I wonder if it would make me sound crazy when I say “I’m blue because my Snowy is old, ill and going to his vet everyday”. Truth is on Tuesday when doc said that he cannot be operated upon because of his age and medication is all we have, something hit me hard. It’s like people are giving me that look where they don’t want to say it but are saying it. That night I cried and so I didn’t blog or even read (so much for the book challenge). I couldn’t stop the tears as I tried to sleep. So now every time my dog poops everyone in my family breathes a sigh of relief, especially me. I may pretend to be okay but I’m not. I know some people might think he is just a dog but its breaking my heart.
Anyhow, since he is little better today and since its Valentine I must talk happy right? Yep. So before I forget Happy Valentine to all of you. It was just a normal day for me, in fact I have been skipping my lunch time and going to Snowy’ Vet for past 4 days now and I did the same today. But I did celebrate with coffee and donut and loads of love songs in my phone.
Fact that I’m in no celebration mood makes me happy that all my friends were busy today and I had no plans. I needed me and I got that. Truth is I wake up 2-3 times in night when I realize he is trying to get up because I’m afraid he will fall. He can hardly walk straight now.
Okay sorry I went back to the sad topic.
So now the big thing, blog birthday. Three years ago I started a blog because everyone was blogging and I wanted to blog, share my views, talks about things the way I see but then life scored over me and I stopped blogging for a while. I did blog occasionally but not that much. I never followed anyone, had no blog friend back then and there weren’t many followers for me either.
One fine day I said good bye to my diaries and took over blogging religiously because I needed to write, talk and share but only about things hurting me, voices in my head, my obsession about being a super hero and everything else in and around me. I soon found people, nice people, who started talking to me, liking my posts and visiting me. Best part was I started following blogs and people who made me see world like I hadn’t seen before. Sometimes I wonder if I’m cheating on my diaries but then I guess I’m and there is nothing I can do about it now. My only regret is I ended up giving my blog address to so many friends back when I started it and now I wish I hadn’t.
Someday, someday, I wish to talk about the real thing but till then I rather vent out about my day, the voices, my awesomeness, my secret love story, the dawn, superheroes, Dominique, Jane Doe, music, fiction, my ability to not sleep on time and everything that I love.
Blogging made me meet NaNoWriMo, which made me write Jane Doe. A novel of my own. Ultra crazy.
My blog posts are mostly blue, rarely do I write something happy and romantic, yet I’m loved by you people. Little is so so thankful to you all for being there. ..
The most appropriate song right now is
But since its Valentine i will share some of my favorite happy love songs with you people:
Truth is im romantic somewhere inside but im so blue that all my emotions get clouded with agony and anger. I once had a dream and i think i posted about it too; in this dream i was getting married to someone i loved and i was happy. I have never been so happy in a dream because i cant remember any dream as clearly as that.
Someday i wish life would let me fall in love, no adjustments, no sacrifice, no more lying, just love true love with honesty. Till then i have hope and dreams, i mean i can live all my love stories in my dream and no one can take that from me.
There may not be a Dawn, but there is a dream of You…!!!!
I can’t believe but I’m actually looking forward to going to Gotham tomorrow, because this isn’t the break I want again. Sometimes my family ends up being even crazier than me. I think I have found true love in Blueberry Pancakes. Can’t get enough of them.
Today I mailed first two chapters of Jane Doe to 4 friends of mine and I don’t know if they will like it. but good thing, after reading the first 2-3 chapters I end up with editing which is better than not touching the story at all. I think I’m scared of doing things that make me happy and I have no idea why.
Sometimes when I end up going too blue or having a thought I shouldn’t, I try to tell myself that I may have some kind of psychological disorder else I wouldn’t act like this. I envy people who can talk about why or what hurts. I can’t talk so when it hurts I either cry (which is crazy because I can’t cry when I want to, no matter how hard I try and when I’m surrounded by people at most busiest day my tears come right out of nowhere. I have very moody and crappy tear glands.) or I end up eating calories for example, two days of pancakes, hotdog, chocolate pastry, veg toastiest and coffees.
So my obsession with Castle has made me overlook my personal request to myself about sleeping early tonight as I have office tomorrow. I’m so glad my mom will be back by Tuesday. My bag is still packed. Though everyone keeps feeling sorry for me because I missed the wedding I feel weird because I can’t tell them “Its okay no big deal…I’m anyhow wasn’t in a mood to go”. If I said that they will think I’m a nutcase which everyone already thinks. I m pretty sure. Though I must admit I did feel little sad when I was talking to my mom on phone and I could hear everyone around, my cousins and all. For a second I did wish I was there.
14minutes more and my episode will be downloaded and then I can’t watch it and sleep peacefully. Funny thing I took me 4 days to download Flesh and Bone and now I find out the link was bad, its only half movie. fck. Had to find another link and download again. If it wasn’t a Meg Ryan movie I wouldn’t have waited for four days. But I can’t miss on a Meg movie. She is like the most awesome thing about Hollywood.
There are plenty of reasons why I don’t want to marry and what happened today was definitely among top 5 reasons.
Got to go. Goodnight world!
P.S Dear makers of Glee…Seriously?