America you nailed it cause equality is dope!!!!

Before I start, I am going say it out loud I saw Pitch Perfect today and I have no idea why it took me so long. It’s awesome. Being a Glee fan it’s no news that I love modern musicals.

So, America big day? Love is love and Ireland and USA are just where the world is looking at right now. Some with hope and others…well haters gonna hate. But it’s just amazing how we as humans are evolving and accepting that EQUALITY is not just a word. It’s a real thing.

And for those who wonder if they ever would see that word, its okay to be not okay. Sun takes time to shine, its dawn for people in America for now. World is taking baby steps and one day it would become what it was intend to be, at first place. One day world would be a free place with equality for everyone.

Right now, its 3 am the ghostly hour and I have so many things inside my head. I want to sit and talk to someone for hours, not listen but talk. Sometimes I really wish that the whole 3 am ghost thing would come true and some ghostly thing would come to scare me, I would make him or her sit and talk. I mean that’s the least he or she can do before scaring the crap out of me. Plus, ghosts won’t share your dirty twisty life stories with other people.

I’m just glad its weekend. What did I learned from past 3 days?

Gotham is turning more and more into Hunger Games and I feel less of Batman and more of Katniss Everdeen. I can literally picture myself with a bow and arrow while fighting for survival.

But then I can’t be Katniss Everdeen she is way too cool and I am one of those girls in the chick flicks who want to be friend with the cool girls. I’m not cool, I’m the girl who wants to be noticed by and be friends with cool ones. I’m not nerdy I’m just boring cause I don’t do the socially accepted definition of fun things.

BTW Anna Kendrick is so cool. Now I need to watch the part two.

I should go now cause I’m afraid one day God would fire a miracle gun towards me turn my life into everything I want, make me peachy and sunshine and rainbow, but I would not be able to cherish the Hey-I’m-Happy thing cause I would be dead courtesy lack of sleep. I read somewhere the amount of sleep deprivation that you give your body can never be recovered. Damn! Well I’m not here to sleep. I’m here to make faces at empty walls and wonder if only I was an artist. I’m here to wonder, sleep can wait.

Good night world and congratulations to America.

 

 

Super heroes are pathological lairs…!!!!

Today a weird but factually correct thought crossed my mind, i’m a pathological liar and a narcissist. Yes, together these words are a very bad combination and under any circumstances a person with such abilities is usually doomed to sink. But, in my case i think these are few of many reasons i am surviving.

Now that i think about it, i lie all the time all day long. Sometimes i lie to people because i have no energy to explain them my reasons to ignore the social events or gatherings or things. Sometimes i lie to people because only i know there is no answer to questions like ‘You okay?’. Sometimes lying is so easy because i do not under any circumstances want to talk about words like ‘love’, marriage’ and ‘relationships’. Then there are lies i offer to people who matter for real, people who love me but often get burdened by my inability to be like them. I lie to family and friends because i believe some questions must remain unanswered for sake of effin peace.

I don’t know if there will ever be a day when i will no more have to lie…I guess, the mask you wear becomes who you are…the case of a lie and a liar…

I don’t know why the thought, because I’ve had an amazing day today. Kind of rosy and peachy Friday for me. I think it has to do with the week. I think it’s also coming from the sleep deprived mind of mine that i have been starving of a good 8 hours of nap time.

I’m eagerly waiting for my book from Amazon which would arrive around 16.

Better go now, it was a good day today. Because it was one of those days where you learn that even though all you see are threads there is a hand too, holding you, trying to make sure you don’t fall.

P.S Once again Agnes Obel is amazing…

You don’t need a degree to know what love is…!!!!!

Have you ever felt love in a way that it belongs to you that you were meant to find it, doesn’t matter if it wasn’t yours to keep? When i see people i realize something, there is no such thing as one love. Because everyone grows up loving different people at different phases of their lives only to end with one person who stays for long, really long. But each and every phase of that love felt right to them, whether it was a school crush, a high school love story, a college romance or marriage.

I personally believe love is meant to find everyone, even the most worthless of us who lost it or never kept it or never got to know it for good.

That’s the beauty of love it never forgets to say Hi to us; we might grow up to be a different person but we all get that turn once where we brush our shoulder with it. Some get to be friends with it, some become acquaintances and others walk by and never get to greet it again.

A peace of mine would always remember my turn. Some days when I’m all sunshine because i have no energy to crib anymore, i tell myself maybe there is another turn maybe i should just keep walking and we would meet again, love and me. And if we don’t, i would still be someone who once did get to say hello to it. Because honestly speaking things happen to you in ways you cant expect them to or want to.

I’m kind of peachy right now…so folks, enjoy the moment of Little being peachy…i think its the dancing. I went to a party tonight, where everyone was wearing dresses and i was in my denim and blue shirt and All Stars. I danced so much, i was dancing with people, i was dancing alone, i was dancing. And maybe that’s why i feel rosy and peachy.

Not because i was shy…!!!!

Dear Diary,

How are you?

Do you still carry?

All the words

I wrote to you

Is the world

Inside

Still has the girl

Who used to hide?

From every face

Every eye

Not because

She was shy.

Do you keep

Those secrets

I scribbled

With hate

And anger

Of being lonely

Different

& ugly

I hope not.

Every thought

I wrote

Wasn’t real

But the fear

Those tear

Drops on the corner

Of blotted ink

Were a different

Story

Of pain and worry

Friends i lived with.

I remember diary

Very clearly

I was lonesome

A forlorn little

Girl

There were some

Confessions

Many painful expressions

You listened

You took them all

With you there

Was no wall.

I hope

Its safe

The confession made

The secrets said

The truth whispered

The darkness shared.

You knew me well

You knew both

Hyde & Jekyll

Living inside me

For i was never free

Of pretending

Smiling & nodding

When all i wanted

Was to be mend

For i was broken

Fallen

Pieces of dejection

Seeking affection

For the other me

The one hidden

Behind the smiles

Driven

Miles

Away from everyone.

For no one

Gets it

I think

I wrote

All that

& more.

Are there any

Happy words?

Maybe not many

But a few threads

Of peachy lines

Saying things like

Im fine

Sky is blue

Trees are green

World is not

Always mean.

Diary

There is no way

I never wrote of

A happy day

Im sure i did

I remember

Smiling & dreaming

Or were they

Dreams for real

Not a memory

Scribbled down

Among the many

Frowns

I drew

On you.

Diary i need

You to read

Me

Few of those

Love songs

I wrote

In the world

Of right and wrongs

I fell

Hard in love

Broken

From toe to above

I was happy & in pain

For i saw rain

Of sorrow & ache

A heart so broken

No one wants to take.

I loved

But truth was shoved

Down my head

You follow the thread

Not a step away

So i did

I hid

Inside your arms

Holding your face

Diary you were my saving grace.

For i had a journey

Of a withering tree

Standing tall

Yet not free

In you i was hiding

From the big blue sky

Not because i was shy…!!!!!

Spotted…Little dancing in her room!!!!

Today I was dancing in my room…that’s how a haircut affects me. Okay to be honest im, for some unknown reason, in a happy mood today.

Two lessons that i learned today, its time to change my saloon because they are robbing me and everyone else who goes there. I paid a fortune today for a haircut, I could have got me a new shirt with that money. But I like the guy who cuts my hair, as in he is good with his work. Second, next time when I want something I need to check all the shops instead of buying the first thing that I like in the market. I found this really nice wallet by Da Milano and it was on sale and totally within my pocket range but I just bought me a wallet last week. Why why why didn’t I search around before buying, I just bought the first wallet I found. Way to go Little!

Anyhow, Monday is here and I will sleep early tonight. Have to get up in morning for the badminton too. Good news I took A VERY SMALL step towards finishing the editing on Jane Doe, so I didn’t completely wasted my weekend. Yay!

Even though im peachy today I am also worried because my handsome doggie isn’t acting well. I think the cold is messing with his age. I hate to see him sad and ill.

So today I watched pilot episode of a new show “Don’t trust the B in apartment 23” and I liked it. I like the character of Chloe. And I ate 3-4 pieces of Lindor dark. Dammit! Why cant I stay away from chocolate and tv shows? Why?

Have to go now, because need all my energy for Monday. Im thinking of making few changes to wardrobe like buying more check shirts than tshirts this summer. Having haircut is always cheerful, despite the fact that I do not get to hear good things because everyone wants me to keep them long.

Valentine is coming and I know what I will be doing…Meg movie, donut, dance on my bed and I will buy me a book. Yes! Because I love myself.

Goodnight World!

P.S my blog’s birthday coming up…i didn’t realize that.