Little wants to go back to being little…!!!!

Today I started with a new book and I have decided to read a little, everyday. Too much of TV shows are keeping me away from reading and writing. Fact is I indulge in marathon fictional shows to stay busy and away from my inner turbulence. But now its time for me to give time to other things too.

Thankyou Internet God for my internet service are down just when I needed a push towards reading.

I also need to, now, get back to my daily workout. Cause I cant let myself be like this. Unfortunately for people like me who cant cry out loud, both the patient and shrink live in same body. Self destruction and self help go hand in hand in my case.

I have few pictures on my wardrobe. Pictures of family, friends, snowy and few from my childhood. In one picture I see a small very small girl wearing her father’s army cap and smiling while giving a salute to whoever was taking the picture. Everytime I look at that picture of mine, I wonder if I was happy back then. Truly happy. If I ever knew how life was going to turn out. I look happy and safe from future.

I want to go back to being her, the little girl in that photograph. But fact is I cant go back being a little girl anymore, the girl who knew nothing about world and its strange ways.

So I just try to be a self proclaimed super hero who has secrets, who has a battle and who is loved by everyone because noone knows that the face behind the mask is another average person made of flesh and hone.

Weird I wasnt suppose to write an emotional blog just an update on my plans about focusing on reading.

Goodnight world!

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I dig happy endings…!!!!

It was a long day and was fun because I went for a movie on a work day taking a break from the routine. It happens rarely but is always a good change from the 9 hours of Gotham where most of my time I’m wondering what happened to things. You know I don’t hate my job, in fact I once loved it but then one fine day everything changed. I find myself sitting among strangers and I don’t love what I write, but I have no idea why I can’t walk away.

Anyhow, so I went for the movie The Impossible (next few lines would be sort of spoilers as I would be talking about the storyline).

It’s based on a true story about a family who went to Thailand for a vacation and were struck by Tsunami. The way they shot every Tsunami scene was wow and the emotions superb. I found myself in tears, at so many points, which is kind of rare, because I prefer to keep my tears in control when watching a movie. My favourite part of the movie was when the 3 little boys (brothers) reunite. The way the younger siblings ran towards their elder brother calling his name I was like please let them meet please. At the end of the movie I found myself whispering “please don’t die, please don’t die, please just don’t die”…and when Naomi’s character makes it through the operation I was like “Phew! Thankyou”.

I loved the movie even though it made me cry so much. When I was begging her not to die, my friend said “you like happy endings right?” Truth is I crave for happy endings in fiction because it makes me feel good. This movie wasn’t fiction and my desperation for a happy ending was even more. What the families went through during Tsunami was too much and I never thought about it before but I saw this movie.

We all hear news about natural disasters and we feel bad when read or hear about this many died or got injured, next day we move on with same life and routine. No one can picture what those injured or people who died went through. A movie can make you actually stop and think.

I have to go because I’m kind of tired which isn’t new considering my love for late nights.