I haven’t talked to anyone about my diagnosis and I’m kind of avoiding writing about it because I’m not sure how I feel about officially being diagnosed. Probably because I think I always knew now others know.
I had a good weekend and from tomorrow starts the annual chess tournament of Gotham. I can’t say I’m not freaking out, because I have a pretty good memory which makes it hard to forget last year. But I can say I have little confidence, that I will try my best to not make a fool out of me. Tomorrow I can’t let history repeat itself; I can’t let myself go down the same road again. I’m already on the edge, I need a hand and tomorrow I will give myself one…hand of hope.
This is me giving myself pep talk because tomorrow I’m playing for myself, I’m Team Me.
I don’t know much, I have no talent just an ability to write stories and play Chess. I don’t know if its okay for me to be positive, for me to believe it will be easy, it will be awesome, but I want to believe it will. Maybe I will win tomorrow and day after tomorrow and again, maybe I will be send my story and get a Yes from the publishing house. Maybe I will fall in love someday. Maybe one day I will tell my mom and she will understand. Maybe one day I will travel and find someone like me.
There are ‘Maybes’ that I want to see but for now, right now I want to believe in ‘Maybe I will play my best and do well, make me proud’.
So here I’m ready for the game and by Friday (or maybe even before) I will send my story to the first publishing house in my list.
Got to go now, have to read few pages before I pop in the idiotic pills that make me groggy.
P.S leaving you with pictures of the day