Letter to a fictional character…!!!!

There is something about lead characters who, even with the responsibility of saving the day, are as broken, scared and fickle as any other character…they feel so real…you can’t trust a protagonist with no guilt or fear…

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But I’m the story and the protagonist…!!!!

I wish I was the friend or the cousin or the neighbor of the protagonist and not her. I wish I was, just one of those who in the end get to give few insights into her story and, not the story in itself.

I don’t speak or understand French but I can’t stop listening to this Edith Piaf song. It sounds so beautiful and lovely. It feels like one of those many background scores of my own story.

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Did I just ruin ‘The Girl On The Train’?

Sometimes after reading a book I wonder what if things had gone down differently. What if, one of the characters had done something differently or the protagonist had walked away from something? I, often, wonder about an alternate ending and I don’t know why.

SPOILER AHEAD (for The Girl On The Train, Code Name Verity and The Boy In The Striped Pyjama)

Imagine if “The Girl On The Train” wasn’t about Rachel obsessing and witnessing the life and death of Megan Hipwell. Imagine if, it was a story of how both the women meet and swap their lives only to help each other get over the issues. I picture Rachel seeing Megan and envying her happy life, while Rachel looking at the train everyday with same feeling about happy passengers passing by everyday. And then one fine day, they meet maybe in bar, get to talking and realize how they both see each other at the same time, at that particular time when the local train passes Tom’s street.

Little drunk and emotional enough to spill things out they become friends and realize that none of them is actually happy, that the grass always looks greener on the other side. And in the end each one gets something. Maybe Megan ends up helping Rachel fight her alcohol addiction and get a job or meet someone new; at the same time Rachel ends up helping Megan walk out of her strange marriage and deal with her own issues caused by loss of the brother.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been a thriller then and probably not many people would even like it. Yet, I can’t help but wonder…

what if, there was no murder and it was just a story of two twisted women who become friends and fix each other, instead of one dying and other ending up in the suspicion of being the killer.

I had the same thought of alternate ending about my personal favorite “Code Name Verity”, though I would not change a single thing about the book even page 285 because that’s what made it a heartbreaking story. But I wonder if things had gone differently on that one page on that bridge, how would have the story ended.

Imagine if Maddie hadn’t fired her gun. I try to picture that but I wonder if that would have made the book as good as it is now.

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I mean you wouldn’t be swearing on the brilliance, and the intensity, of The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas if he hadn’t walked inside the fenced area and followed his friend into those chambers. I try to picture, what if he hadn’t but then what would be the story about?

There is a reason why something happens in a story, even if every part of our body wants to jump inside the scene and shake the protagonist begging her/him to not do something or walk into something.

 

 

French Political Prisoner with no French…!!!

It was a good weekend, because I had one of those very rare family movie day where I actually watch a movie in a theatre with my whole family. It’s a very rare phenomenon and very exhausting one but it always makes me feel a little happy, because of the very fact that we don’t do it much.

Apart from the family movie, I have had a weekend where I have spent lazy moments on my sofa with my book. Just pure laziness and book reading. I wrapped up Rose Under Fire.

This is my second Elizabeth Wein book, after reading Code Name Verity I fell in love with her writing. Rose Under Fire starts where Code Name Verity ends, so of course I was expecting to read more of Maddie but this one wasn’t about my favourite pilot Maddie, this was about another pilot who loves poetry as much as I love escaping into day dreams.

I admit, at one point when I realised it wasn’t about Maddie I felt little disappointed because a part of me still lives in page 285 of Code Name Verity but then soon I was drawn into Rose’s Ravensbrück journey.

This one is about French Political Prisoner 51498 with no French and Roza and Irina and Karolina and Lisette and Elodie and even Angel of Death Anna. My favourite scene was when they had to force Roza into that plane. Hard to believe that the worst pain in neck Roza, who wouldn’t even get scared when her name came on list, cried over a plane ride. O sweet snappy Rabbit.

O God! This was one of the most heartbreaking Concentration Camp fictions I’ve ever read. This wasn’t about Jewish prisoners; it was mostly about the other captives the political prisoners, the German criminals, the polish, the Russians and the French. The spys, the pilots, the rabbits.

I fell in love with crazy Roza, even more than the protagonist also named Rose. My heart broke when Maddie said Julie would have died there. O Julie!

Anna’s character was fiction but it wasn’t all that a story. People did terrible things in war but some of them were just unwilling participants who had no way out. Anna’s character kind of reminds me of this 93 years old Nazi guy on trail Oskar Gröning. Real story.

TELL THE WORLD

How they all longed to tell the world and even now the trail of Auschwitz SS Guard Oskar Gröning is about countering the Holocaust deniers. TELL THE WORLD.

My heart aches for the names on the wall of those camps across German captured cities.  And those who were never reported or documented or failed to get mourners because no one knew they died there. I’m just glad Eiffel Tower survived it all. My obsession with concentration camps or holocaust is largely because I feel that so many vanished and went away but no one would know their names, stories or who they were before being gassed, incinerated or shot or turned into lifeless corpse resulting starvation or diseases. Pilots, soldiers, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandparents, kids and just harmless sympathizers of those being erased.

Maybe there is life on an another planet & maybe they know its wise to stay away from us…!!!!

I think the only people who stay with us till the end are the characters we meet in the books we read. Last night i finished reading Torn Thread, a book based on a story of a 12 year old girl’s experience in a Nazi camp. Holocaust stories, real or fiction, often make me wonder how low humanity went.

I may not understand the complexity of religion and politics and old wars the world went through, but the ugly naked truth behind stories of people who died, or lived to talk about it, breaks my heart. When i read a holocaust book i don’t see a Jewish girl or boy or woman being denied life in Auschwitz, i see kids and women being brutally murdered.

Torn Thread is another book of courage, hope, faith, sisterhood, pain and dark truth of the good and bad we have become. I loved the book. I did.

When i finished reading it i couldn’t help but wonder how much resemblance it bears to Moon at Nine. Yes, i know the latter is a story of innocent love in the wrong era and the former is a story of sisterhood and struggle in a painful era. But both the books had true stories with nations at war and young protagonists who suffered and were made to pay the consequences of their existence.

We don’t need another planet, we are not meant to be civilized. We merely breath and procreate as we stamp over the privilege of being the only living beings in a lonely world of empty planets.

All we do is struggle and work hard to afflict pain on the weaker ones. We are not human beings god created us to be. We are broken parts of the good and bad left behind in the war of religion and politics. That’s what we are.

Dear George Mallory…!!!!

It took me sometime but i finally managed to finish “Love letters to the dead” and I’m ready for the new novel based on series “The Killing. Can’t wait. Love letters to the dead was more or like similar to “The perks of being a wallflower” but both the books have their own charm. A part of me relates to protagonists in both the books, for a moment there i couldn’t help but notice that Charlie was projection of my own self in a different way.

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I haven’t written letters to anyone for ages now. I used to, once. I truly was good with letters because i used to write letters to my friends, close friends. Letters with and without reasons. Funny how we grow up and everything changes because of experiences and time and life.

If i was to write a letter to a dead celebrity, like Laurel did in the book, i would choose George Mallory. When i read Paths of Glory all i wanted to know was what happened to him and his partner. I mean did they make it? Did he get to put his wife’s picture up there? What happened that day? Where is Andrew Irvine?

I’m nothing like George Mallory but his life fascinates me. His love for Ruth and Everest is amazing. If only i was that kind of person, with true motivation and hunger in me. If only, I was driven by a passion so deep, so true. I want to ask him, if he was scared when he fell? Did he felt lost? Cause i m scared all the time and I feel lost all the time. I wonder what Ruth must have gone through, not the part where she lost her man but the part where she didn’t even know what happened to him, did he or did he not get to make his dream come true? I’m obsessed with it, wonder if it bothered her and for how long? If only Mallory could know how his grandson followed his footstep and kept his legacy alive by reaching the Everest.

For me George Mallory and Amelia Earhart are two heroes, real heroes. I’m obsessed with their mysteries. I can only hope TIGHAR would one day find her plane. We can’t bring her back or know what exactly happened, but it would be like having a closure.

A Lone Reed….!!

Most of the time when i watch a prime time show i end up in tears at the end, even if it’s a crime show like Castle or a thriller like Nikita… cause it’s always a happy ending, well not for the bad guys killed but for the protagonist. In every show whether its teen musical Glee, teen thriller Pretty Little Liars or a family serial Grey’s Anatomy…there are always scenes that make me wonder what if i was that person? What if that’s how real life could be?

Truth is, real life never gives you the pleasure of going from grey to cheerful ending in 45 minutes. Real life takes you through a good amount of ride blue before you reach destination happiness. Darn it! I sound like a skeptical. No I’m not a skeptical. I believe in miracles and true love and happiness, except i also believe in logic and timings. You cant expect a miracle when you are at a wrong place at a wrong time. A prince charming rescuing you and taking you to the happily ever after land does happen, but you need to be at an accessible place. Yes, you can get rich, have lots of friends who like you and have a big apartment, but all these little dreams can only come true if you are on the right path. For everything to happen there has to be a reason. I mean if today i have a car or a job, it didn’t happen overnight…it started years ago. A path came across me when i was in college and i walked on it without knowing and here I’m.

In order to have true love, it is important that you are on same route of journey where the prince charming is. Else, sorry you are doomed to live in misery. Again, I’m not a skeptical person.  It’s just even magic needs little work. Somewhere something happens which leads things to a point, where you feel it was a miracle that it happened, but then if you look closely you can find reasons.

But unfortunately, right now i can’t see any, any logic, reason or can relate any possible explanations for a miracle to happen to save myself from my possible future. I see it coming to me and there is no way i can avoid it. All i can do is stand as long as possible…i still have some fight left in me. It’s like that line from You’ve Got Mail… Am a lone Reed…!!