Merry Christmas…!!!!!

I hope there is a dawn for me and for everyone who needs it. It would be a waste of a good life that we have here if we give up on hope, even if we know its just a thread holding us for little more days or weeks or months or years. We are what we are, no one can change that and that’s what makes us special- our story. Don’t we all have one?

I have a story, a heartache, lots of issues and impossible & hopeless desire of a life I live inside my head. But I don’t ever want to give on hope, I want to believe that even though world is mean and hard and sometimes too racists or judgmental, but there are people who have nothing but love to give. I want to believe its okay to smile at others and at yourself for that’s how you make kindness survive among the seeds of hatred, sown up all around.

If you are someone who is hurting or wondering what is the purpose of anything or trying to hide those tears behind a still smile, I so so so dearly hope you would hold on to hope and smile and love yourself even if its hurting.

Maybe the world is dark and scary, but if you give up now or do not continue walking ahead how will you find kindness and people who would want to hear your story and fall in love with you despite every word you say.

Maybe happy endings are for movies but I hope you would still find a tiny little corner, inside your aching heart, for hope and a smile for yourself.

I hope you would learn to be kind to yourself…that makes a huge difference. Its okay to be your own person, your own super hero and your own Santa. If you can learn to love yourself and be kind to your hurting soul, you will find its not hard to hold on.

If hope is not your thing, if you are seeing the picture of life with all its
ugliness and sharp edges, just be gentle and kind to that person in your mirror.

Hanging on to the invisible threads of Hope…i wish you all

Merry Christmas

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Little is awesome but Little cant, just cant, sleep on time…

Well guess what…i have the title for my story for NaNoWrimo even though I’m still not sure if i can work but hey i have a story, a name and a song. Can do lot with those three things.

Once a class mate from college said that she noticed something in my stories, she said that every story i have written has someone dying in it. True. I don’t know why i never noticed that before but maybe it’s because i write suspense and tragedy together. Most of my stories are drama with darkness in them. A friend of mine was, few days ago, discussing a show with me and said that she finds that little too dark and i realised isn’t that what i write.

Maybe i could have been a happy writer if life would have been different but then i realise if life was sunshine i wouldn’t have been a writer at all. I found writing when i realised im different from everyone.

Today im so tightly wrapped around my darkness, my truth and the pain that it is hard to imagine a life without it. I mean a Sunny Shiny Me? How weird would that be?

I wish i could remember my first story but i don’t. I do remember that i started writing in 9th grade, poems, stories and my daily diaries. Because i was an angry and lone teenager back then who always used to be  fight at home and feel that her family doesn’t care. Not true. My anger is still alive but now i know why im angry and at whom. Im not angry at my parents or my brother or my friends, im angry at the world in general for it is biased and racist and judgmental and lives on rules carved on stones.

My most favourite poem, as written by me, is titled Castle and i think i still have it somewhere. Also What’s my Diagnosis? Is one of my favourite poems. I like Jane Doe but i think my favourite story would be Dominique or Crossroads, if and ever i got to finish them.

I have an idea; i am going to create a different page now with my poems. I don’t write much poems but i do have few that i am proud about.

Voices: Hey Writer Girl

Me: What?

Voices: We think you made your point

Me: And what would that be?

Voices: You love writing. And you are awesome. Seriously?

Voices: Are you going to make a song on it next? A love song for you by you…maybe?

Me: Rude

Voices: Boring and Creepy and Weird…really very weird…

Me: What do you want?

Voices: Didn’t you just book online movie tickets for tomorrow evening?

Me: So?

Voices: Hmm, nothing just…

Me: what?

Voices: Its 2:15 am, you will sleep by 2:30, get up late, go late and that would mean…

Me: Feck…that would mean i won’t be able to leave on time for my movie.

Voices: Whoa! You do have a brain. You should use it more often.

Me: I should get a lobotomy

Voices: Because?

Me: You guys live in there

Voices: Whatever…2:18 am…Tick Tock Tick…

Me: AAAaahhh….aaah smiley