Some days i tell myself it rained for me…!!!!

Today was a good day because I had fun, because I was with friends, because it was raining and because I was driving through puddles of water splashing water and screaming like a kid.

Some days I’m happy because I’m living inside my head, a world away from the one in front of my eyes and then there are days I’m living in past, the faint memories of good days that went by in a jiffy. Today was one such day; I was having fun and remembering good old days when a day like today was every day.

Right now I wish I was with my brother on his trip, but I’m not. He and my cousin are going to Srinagar the most beautiful land I have ever known.

Break, vacation, holiday…3 words I haven’t been friends with for long now. Some days I wish I had time to just sit idle all day, waste hours and not worry about it because I had time lots of it, to waste. But then I cant sit idle.

You know some of the very good publication houses don’t take unsolicited work which means I can strike them of my list, because I don’t have agents or money to hire one. I may never become an author people would recommend but I want to become an author, one who got published.

Life doesn’t look good from where I stand but at least I can say I went down fighting, right?

Most of us don’t realise how quickly life changes because we are too busy mixing up with and adapting to the changes, new faces, new routines and the new world. This is where I end up being the last one standing, because when these changes cover my world I can’t stop pushing myself to the place I was standing.

Today I don’t have any episode to watch so I’m wondering, book? Download some episode? Watch one of the movies on my laptop? Write a new story? Edit Jane Doe? Watch TV? Or just lie down with my headphones on?

I am enjoying the weather, because monsoon is like the best time of the year. It’s rainy, windy, chilly and nice. If you know what Indian summers are like, you will love monsoon too.

A cup of coffee, a rainy day, a slow day, laptop and headphones…just few of the things I want. I hope I get it tomorrow, I hope it rains again tomorrow; I hope I can just be me and have some Me-Time tomorrow again.

Today I was sitting alone in my car, waiting for my friends, and I saw this street dog and I was looking at him and smiling. A part of me wanted to just go and hug him, something that happens a lot. If I could I would hug every dog I see. Because I can’t hug mine, I can’t. This is one void that will hurt me forever even if I get my Dawn, even if life gives me a miracle and I end up happy. I don’t think I can ever stop missing Snowy.

I got to go, hope it will be a rainy day tomorrow because I need it to be, because I am a sad soul who looks for tiny little happy moments to recharge the inner awesomeness.

Goodnight World!

P.S i think i will write something anything, Dominique maybe.

Sometims i take a walk back…!!!!

I have been doing it a lot

Taking a walk back

Like going through a book

From the memory rack

I think of days spent together

Walks in rainy weather

For some reason

I remember every season

Lived with you

Lived loving you

If only I could see

The wall with names

Of you and me

Thinking of us makes me smile

Even if it’s for a while

We were crazy and in love

When I think too much

Reality turns into a dagger

There is no pain bigger

Than your absence

Knowing we won’t be same

Even for once

But I still don’t mind

Talking a walk back

Raising the curtain to peek behind

Sometimes I feel you around

Sometimes I hear the sound

I know you don’t live there

Not anymore

But I see it like it was

Everything like it was

I dream of you and I

Under the same old sky

Walking hands in hands

Making same prints on sand

Its strange how I can feel

Just the same

By whispering your name

Sometimes I take a walk back

To the bench we sat on

The day changes turned on

We sat in silence

Life felt on a fence

You told me

The way it has to be

I told you I can’t I wont

You smiled

I could feel tears

You were trying to hide

You walked away

There was nothing to say

We were young

We had a song

Not anymore

Nothing like before

I walk back to what’s gone

To the happiness not known