I want to write you a letter and ask you what is the color of sky above you, is it crimson blue or can you see streaks of dark clouds ready to move in with cavalry of thundering ones. The letter would ask you if the birds are happy there and chirp like they should and request you to find time to walk out to wave at the Moon, stuck in the solitary confinement of gaseous void. Amid the textual inquery of the sky and land, I would let you know what a dreary evenings I endure with all the other such lengthily written but unsent letters lying next to me.
How do I tell them, what a tragic world it is where words and letters like emotions are bound to obey the draconian law of truth. But like each written heartfelt conversation, this one would too end with still here, still yours.
Now I have multiple options but I shall address you with the title Ellen used to tease you. I have met a handful of fictional characters, but my darling Davie Balfour none has ever enchanted me like you did.
Is it strange for me to fall in love with your manipulation and selfishness of taking, though Ellen did a fine job at that by teaching you more about giving? But I wonder whether your calling out to Maddie on the bridge and making her fire that shot was giving or taking? I wonder if you gave her chance to save herself from witnessing the cruelty about to fall on her best friend or if you took her soul by forcing her to end your horror.
O Julie! I wonder if Ellen ever found out what happened to you. I keep imagining her reaction to the death of the girl she had the crazy Sherlock Holmes kind of summer with. I wonder if Maddie and Ellen ever came face to face and if they did what they talked about. I picture them sitting over a cup of tea talking about how stubbornly mysterious you were. Jamie sitting next to them looking at them and missing his favorite sister.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get more of you from the author but boy am I glad for the prequel. I try to picture you as Therese Belivet only more confident, cunning, gorgeous and mysterious.
Very rarely I go for Audio books but when I finished #CodeNameVerity, I was missing the characters so much, I decided to check out the Audiobook.
Oh boy! I’ve been struggling since then to pick my favorite. Sure book is amazing but the verbal presentation is just so magical it takes you right inside the story. It’s a beauriful sad story of friendship and loss, told with such fine grace and humor.
Have you ever had a day where you don’t feel anything? You are not happy, but you are not sad either. No anger or fear or anxiety. Nothing. You end up wishing for some kind of emotions, anything would do heck even tears would be great but there aren’t any cause you ain’t sad. No sadness.
The only fraction of emotion that you feel is doubt. You wonder and doubt whether you’re even alive. Because you are that numb.
So you try to read but you’re not interested, you try to write a story but for that you need emotions but there aren’t any, you open your laptop to watch a movie but you don’t feel like.
Not only do you not feel any emotion, you don’t even feel like doing things that you love.
Have you ever had a day where voices in your head are locked somewhere, you do occasionally hear a muffled scream begging you to do something but you cant make out the words and have no interest in even trying?