I need change of scenery for sad little soul in me and the writer in me…
Today was a good day because I had fun, because I was with friends, because it was raining and because I was driving through puddles of water splashing water and screaming like a kid.
Some days I’m happy because I’m living inside my head, a world away from the one in front of my eyes and then there are days I’m living in past, the faint memories of good days that went by in a jiffy. Today was one such day; I was having fun and remembering good old days when a day like today was every day.
Right now I wish I was with my brother on his trip, but I’m not. He and my cousin are going to Srinagar the most beautiful land I have ever known.
Break, vacation, holiday…3 words I haven’t been friends with for long now. Some days I wish I had time to just sit idle all day, waste hours and not worry about it because I had time lots of it, to waste. But then I cant sit idle.
You know some of the very good publication houses don’t take unsolicited work which means I can strike them of my list, because I don’t have agents or money to hire one. I may never become an author people would recommend but I want to become an author, one who got published.
Life doesn’t look good from where I stand but at least I can say I went down fighting, right?
Most of us don’t realise how quickly life changes because we are too busy mixing up with and adapting to the changes, new faces, new routines and the new world. This is where I end up being the last one standing, because when these changes cover my world I can’t stop pushing myself to the place I was standing.
Today I don’t have any episode to watch so I’m wondering, book? Download some episode? Watch one of the movies on my laptop? Write a new story? Edit Jane Doe? Watch TV? Or just lie down with my headphones on?
I am enjoying the weather, because monsoon is like the best time of the year. It’s rainy, windy, chilly and nice. If you know what Indian summers are like, you will love monsoon too.
A cup of coffee, a rainy day, a slow day, laptop and headphones…just few of the things I want. I hope I get it tomorrow, I hope it rains again tomorrow; I hope I can just be me and have some Me-Time tomorrow again.
Today I was sitting alone in my car, waiting for my friends, and I saw this street dog and I was looking at him and smiling. A part of me wanted to just go and hug him, something that happens a lot. If I could I would hug every dog I see. Because I can’t hug mine, I can’t. This is one void that will hurt me forever even if I get my Dawn, even if life gives me a miracle and I end up happy. I don’t think I can ever stop missing Snowy.
I got to go, hope it will be a rainy day tomorrow because I need it to be, because I am a sad soul who looks for tiny little happy moments to recharge the inner awesomeness.
P.S i think i will write something anything, Dominique maybe.
Today was a normal day, in fact very busy and tiring and maybe that’s why at one point I lost all my energy to pretend. I lost all my defenses but since I’m awesome, and when I say awesome I mean in caps like AWESOME, I was still going great. How do you do that Little? Oh its years and years of practice, now hand me the award.
Okay, so I don’t know if it’s the sudden blues or the crazy sleep deprived mind of me, but I went on thinking about people who have to put up with me because they love me. I mean I have people who are in love with me otherwise there is no explanation for why they put up with my mood swings, bad attitude, stubbornness and meanness. Yes I’m all of theses with mild niceness grated to make me less evil but little annoying. In my defense I wasn’t like this, I was once less awesome but more nice.
Well, so I was thinking about my friends and my family. My friends are great people and my family literally goes through all my craziness, specially my mom. Sometimes I wish if I wasn’t this dark and twisted me how different life could have been for these people. I mean they love me and imagine how easy it would have been to have me in a different way, little more honest, little more smiling, little more social, little warmer and caring, little more helpful and little more like them.
Recently a friend of mine found out something she didn’t knew about me, not a big thing but still little big, and she was not as mad as I thought she would get. Another friend of mine keeps begging me to tell her why I’m a sad soul, since we are BFF and she is suppose to know, I still don’t tell her. Well on normal circumstances people would throw you out of your life but she still hangs around. There are few too-good-to-be-real people who know the real story of me and these awesome people do not care. Why? Obviously it must be love for me because I’m sure I do not owe any money to them. It is love, its got to be.
Ok no more jokes today, because I’m totally sleep deprived and I don’t know if what I’m writing is making any sense. I don’t even know why I haven’t gone to bed till now, because I need a straight 10 hours of sleep to refill my awesomeness. Yes, you heard that I’m awesome.
Voices: Enough with “im awesome”
Me: I am awesome
Voices: Rolling eyes
Today was my dad’s birthday and I don’t ever tell him this but he is awesome too, because he lets me be crazy. Thankyou papa.
So today I wish to say Thank you to everyone in my family, friends and blog world for putting up with me. Saying thank you when you aren’t reading because its easy this way.
I better go now, because the whole 9 to 6 job and evening workout is super tiring and then there is this lack of sleep. Goodnight world and thank you!