There is a reason why a Superhero’s cape is never white…!!!

Today, i took half day leave from work because it was my friend’s birthday. While it was suppose to be her day, i think it was more of my day. Because i needed to cool off and a day-off on a working day was what i needed.

I’m not a leader, not the Alpha and not the frontier soldier. So sometimes i find it hard to work with the people at Gotham. Last two days were kind of rough work wise, nothing that i couldn’t handle but it just made me upset about how much that place has changed and how different it has become. It’s not the place i fell in love with once.

Even when i lost in bowling and scrabble i didn’t care because i was far away from Gotham. I wish i was a person strong enough to get up and walk away, but i am already in a battle i don’t want more.

Some days i just want to drop my hero act and hold on to someone for rescue but help isn’t coming so i guess i will have to be my own person, for as long as possible.

What can i say, Superheroes aren’t allowed to carry a white flag.

Super tired, got to go.

Goodnight world!

Blue color Hulk…!!!!!

Yesterday was one of those days when all i wanted was to buy a book. For past few days i have been blue, really blue. Im like this little blue girl who wants a teddy book.

So im at home,sitting with my laptop, staring at the empty word document wondering why cant i write, when my friend calls. She asks if i would like to go city with her. Scrabble, coffee and simple stuff. At first, i decide i don’t want to go. All i wanted was to be blue, like the darkest shade of blue, stay in my room and die of loneliness. But then i realised may be i can be blue with a new book.

So i said yes, got ready and went to city. Even as we played scrabble, had coffee, laughed and talked about random stuff i wasn’t feeling good, but i knew soon i would be owner of 2-3 new books by James Patterson. Yay! Right? Wrong. When universe is busy playing, you don’t get to enjoy unforced errors. The only purpose i left my room was to shop and when i handed my shopping to the cashier i realised i’ve had left my card home. And i had no cash on me. My friend used all her paying for all the food and coffee we had.

So guess what? Little blue me came back little more blue.

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No title for today…my mind isnt working at 4 in the morning!!!!

3:45 Am im watching some episode and my tube-light goes off on off on..at first i wonder if i should worry after all i just saw “The Conjuring”, then i realized i rather make myself instant noodles and watch another episode for i don’t care…im that messed up.

It was a very busy and tiring day, as i was out with Dexter (how i call my brother) shopping for his birthday gift. Its his birthday tomorrow, so we went out shopping, then i dropped him home and went to play Scrabble with my friends. No one was in a mood to play yet we played for an hour before my friend decided to declare the game. BTW i was winning. Came home finished Season2 of Suits, had my dinner then we all wished Dexter at 12 and gave him his surprise gift. After spending some time on phone with my friend about tomorrow’s movie plan and scrabble schedule, i debated whether to watch a movie or episodes. I ended up watching pilot episode of “The Killing”. Heavy hardcore and heavy. Almost made me cry. The show left me curious and i want to watch more now.

That’s how my day went which also clearly says i did no writing. I dont think i will do tomorrow either.

We all get a day when something changes for us or we realize something. I have one too, a day of revelation and discovery about something that i knew for quite long but couldn’t really put a finger on.

How i would love to just stay home tomorrow all day and drown in self pity but i have a busy day. Im going to play Scrabble with friends who wont know im all blue inside and then i will watch “We are the Millers”. Jeniffer Aniston will always be Rachael Greene for me.

Its almost morning now, so i better go and get some sleep.

 

 

 

Absentminded…!!!!

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It was a good day today i had fun, but something wasn’t right. Don’t know why but i was not inside my head, i was somewhere else. I m having the right kind of day, friends, coffee, scrabble but I was busy someplace else. Thoughts. I was thoughtful.

I don’t know why i was absent.

I think its just sometimes truth keeps nagging you even when you are having a good day. I think i was just wondering how much life has changed in past few years, specially in last two years. Do you ever think about reliving a day? I do.

 

I wish I had icecream in my fridge…would have gone out but its 430 am!!!!

Today was an exhausting day and at one point I wanted to run out of my office. But then something nice happened in the evening, I played the most amazing scrabble of my life by scoring 153 in one single word by using two Triple Word boxes and one Triple letter box. I made Delaying and nailed it. My second amazing word was Axing with 63 score.

Truth is I am sad but a small game made me forget things for a while. Its 4 something in the morning, everyone is asleep. I have watched episodes, cried a little and now wondering what else to do. Something inside me is yelling at me to sleep since im on verge of killing my brain cells. But then I dont want to sleep cause that means waking up and going through a long day of prefending to be awesome.
Im not awesome in not okay. Im sad, depressed and I need a day off from my blues. Anyhow, it wont happen so I better sleep.

Before I go, I want to say I love Greys and it would hurt me when the show gets over. Same goes for Glee.
Hope Arizona (I think she is awesome, sunshine and the most happiest person on the show) doesnt end up doing something stupid and I love the fact that finally Karev has a relationship that looks happy and promising.
All I want is a happy ending for the show…if I cant get it atleast i can ask for it in a show.

Goodnight world…!!!!

P.S Dedicating Molly Smile to everyone.
P.S 2 This is the third time I wasted a good Q worth 10 points in my game cause I didnt get a U. Anyone knows a word that starts with Q but doesnt need a U…?

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Love happens to me too…True Story!!!!

Have you ever had a moment where you saw someone and fell in a silly crush kind of love? Even though that person is just a stranger who would just walk by and you would never see him/her again?

Happens to me someone times. Sometimes I see someone and get this crazy crush where I can’t stop looking at that person and to make sure I don’t come out as a creepy stalker I have to act like I didn’t notice the person, whereas the truth is I can’t stop looking at that person. I remember a family wedding where I had this silly first look crush on my cousin’s friend.

Yesterday I saw someone in a coffee house and I fell in love with that person, the eyes, the hair…While I had my eyes on that person, all I could hear were voices in my head shaking their head and murmuring among themselves about what a lunatic I’m.

Me: Whoa!

Voices in my head: What? Did you find a word? Is it a Double Word score?

Me: I think I’m in love. Look.

Voices in my head: Huh! Seriously? Be cool

Me: I am just saying

Voices in my head: Love? You don’t even know that person. Plus have you seen yourself in mirror?

Me: Yes I’m sure I look better than the creepy voices inside my head

Voices in my head: Below the belt

Me: Sue me

Voices in my head: Need we remind you…you can’t fall in love

Me: Okay but I can admire a good-looking person with great hair, pretty eyes and …

Me: Wait where did…?

Voices in my head: Left. So what were you saying?

Me: Love something…I don’t know. I …

Voices in my head: What smarty pants?

Me: I think I just lost my scrabble game

Voices in my head: You know why?

Me: I was busy falling in love?

Voices in my head: Nooo…there is no LOOVVEE…

Voices in my head: You lost because you don’t know how to use Q with 10 points

Voices in my head: Man! You need a dictionary

Voices in my head: Tonight we will study words with Q, Z, Y…

Me: I bet that person noticed I was looking. I’m not even dressed well. I should have worn something better.

Voices in my head: beating-head-against-the-wall

 

 

 

Soldier at ease…Life says take a break…!!!!

So life says ceasefire…I don’t know if its for a day or a week, but I know I can feel my pulse again and im breathing. Yay!

But stupid cold and fever won’t let me cherish the moment. Now, all I need to do is manage next 9 hours tomorrow and I have my two days of rest. No one knows what hit me and what went through my head except my one super friend. I don’t know what I would have without her, because I was losing my mind.

I wish there was some miracle for me, wish there was someone who would save me.  But it’s a battle that I will lose and nothing can change that. So all I need is to make myself strong which crazy because I thought I was strong. Some Nights is my anthem right now as I listen to it on replay mode.

I cant live if im not living as me.  Not being me can be lethal for me.

Okay people time for my medicine and a nap. Hope I wake up well enough to go to work, play Scrabble in evening and come home to series of episodes waiting for me. Fingers crossed!

Goodnight World!