It wasn’t a good day and I don’t know why. I think it had something to do with my stupid stomach and the fact that I’m kinda low on hope for past two days. But no complaints cause everything was fine after 730.
Sometimes there are things that just happen out of the blue and I realize I’m an idiot. Living in denial and hope, when at the end there is dawn, no escape. Since past two days I have been having this feeling that there is no happy ending and all the hope I have is nothing but a lie. I told myself to stop kidding and accept the fact. I was humming to a song trying to make myself happy when voices told me, what’s the use..why am I being happy when I know I’m doomed.
The part of me that lost hope was begging me to not do anything to feel good, cause its all going to go in vain. How crazy is that? Pretty much. I’m glad I’m self obsessed soul…so I went and got me a brand new Vero Mooda trouser. I know I should not smile because there is no happy ending but I can’t breathe if I accept reality. So I lie to myself.
I wish I could ask someone to hug me and not let go. I wish I could just ask someone to tell me “its okay”.
I know what I need, I need a two days with just me and my room and my stories and coffee. I need one night of fiction marathon. I need to visit Dominique or Jane Doe. I know how to refill my empty can of hopes, but for that I need a weekend. Sadly, my saturday is working.
For some reason I can’t get this Ed Sheeran song out of my head – give me love.
Got to go now, I have to get up at 7 to play. I have been trying to play everyday, workout everyday.
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.