So I cried at the end of The Danish Girl…!!!!

Today after a long time I did a movie marathon in theater. I needed it so badly. When I sit there in the dark hall looking at the huge large screen with stories and background music, I forget everything else.

Sitting alone in dark with random strangers all busy looking ahead, I fall in love with life and the fact that there is a world out there. Movies make me see the world and meet people, something I’ll never do in my reality.

Stories. I breathe on them, books or movies.

Anyhow, out of the two movies that I saw one was The Danish Girl. Eddie Redmayne was brilliant. Just brilliant, so was Alicia Vikander. At the end, at the very last scene, tears strolled down my cheeks and I thanked myself for being a solo movie-goer.

I loved the way Eddie Redmayne portrayed the struggle and pride of someone wanting to be true and honest and accepting of who they are. And I loved Alicia’s character and her unconditional support in the journey of transformation of Einar into Lily. Now I don’t know how real is this reality based story, but whatever I saw was beautifully presented and too emotional.

I don’t know much about transgender community. But I do wonder how hard it must be for them with so much of judgement. I wish world was not about guns and hatred but about accepting. But then again that’s just me. And I’m nobody. World is not made of me, which is both good and bad.

Truth is God doesn’t hate anyone no matter who you are, it’s us. God made us, everyone one of us every gender every sexuality every caste every color every religion. God made us. We are the one who decided to hate or not like each other.

Coming back to the movie, I loved The Danish Girl but it took me a lot of time to adjust to The Hateful Eight. Wasn’t my kind but was alright.

It’s Monday again, so I think I should say goodnight.  Time to turn off the lights, close my eyes and paint a world of my own.

I would like to end the day by sending huge hug in the cosmic world to someone anyone who is hurting. Because one day I would like to find a cosmic hug too.

Goodnight world!

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Only thing we learn from history is probably an idea to make a movie or write a book…!!!!

So, I come home from a very very busy day. I’m tired and I fall in front of television. There is some interview or news about some interview. The interviewer is from let’s say XYZ country and he is asking some ex military or maybe ex defense expert something that sounded more or less like this “If we ever do come to a war like situation with that country are we in state of using our nuclear power?” The interviewee sounds like a gentleman as he says “yes we can. But I hope we never have to because it would only mean destruction.”…I am already hating the question about some country having the power to destroy some other country but I love the answer. Before I could listen more to what the ex retired guy had to say power went off. So, I am sitting there wondering what and where we have come to.

Didn’t we learn anything from all those world war stories and miseries that shouted the atrocities caused by atom bombs, angry nations, self obsessed leaders and wrongly guided citizens?

I am ashamed of human race for what we have become. We are ever ready to hate each other because we belong to enemy lands or have different skin color or sexuality or not have same religion or same caste within the religion.

As I listened to that question all I could think of was why are enemy nations still carrying the grudge of ancient wars? Nuclear weapon is the thing we made to hate each other little more than we already do.

We are just bunch of stupid kids who forgot to grow up, we are only growing old.

In a world where we all are busy hating each other, music is the only thing that makes sense. Leaving you with a beautiful song that I was introduced to by fellow blogger ofsenseandsensibility

We are, what we are, what we always will be…Ignorant!!!!

Ignorance is what makes people with mental illness suffer more; not theirs but our ignorance towards the subject.

Why do I say that? Someone in Gotham was talking to me about BiPolar. It was a small, silly and ordinary conversation but when it was over I felt sad. Not many people know what depression or mental disorders like BiPolar, PTSD, BPD is, not that it should be a part of our school textbooks but not knowing the thing is one reason we never understand someone who actually goes through it.

For example, I have stomach issues directly caused by my messed up head and also because I was a bad eater once. Now, when I am usually in a situation where I want to avoid something for my stomach or I’m having a bad stomach day, for no reason, I often get to hear things like ‘That’s all in your head’. Dude! That always hits me below the belt. Never for once a person who knows acid reflux or anxious stomach would ever say that ‘Metal taste? Oh that’s so crazy just eat something sweet’

So, when you meet someone with mood swings, totally unexplainable, never call that person crazy or something like ‘You need a good day out’. Don’t you think that person has tried everything from good day, good song, good movie to every other effin good thing available. Some pain and hurt and sadness are not made up by that person. They are there.

Just few days back, 2-3 people around me were making fun of a guy saying things like ‘O he is so gay’. I was there, I was suppose to pitch in something and I felt so ashamed of being there and not being able to tell them how insanely insensitive and wrong it is to joke like that. I wanted to turn around say, you mister are a male whore, you lady are an effin loser and you sir are also a loser in capital letters. I didn’t. I swear I wanted to so badly but I’m a coward or more or less I’m just one of them. So, I just pretended to be busy and asked why they think he was gay and as soon as the topic shifted, I excused myself and walked away. You know, we are what we are and will always be…Ignorant.

If you and I make fun of someone’s weight, height, health, pain, moods, sexuality, color or accent, it’s not their fault…it’s our…our ignorance towards them and the thing we think is so weird about them.

P.S Just ignore my rant and enjoy this beautiful song

Earth is made of Water, Oxygen, People & Morons…!!!!!

Today I was whatsapping with a very old friend. We hardly talk and so we were exchanging usual “Hey” “How’s it going” stuff when we started talking about politics, culture, religion etc. My friend had some really extremist views and perspective to offer and I was kind of shocked and surprise.

I don’t know but I can’t ever ever hate one religion and love another. I don’t want to follow a religion if it means hating the others. I say thank you to god everyday for my loved ones, I’m thankful for what I have in my own way but I can’t go beyond. My friend was talking about how high he thinks of his religion and how much he dislikes this other religion and I wanted to hit him though the phone.

Whoa! You know all these years I used to believe that education can make a difference in changing the views of the world. But I guess I was wrong. Education has nothing to with it; people become haters even with the educated and posh upbringing.

Okay! I don’t know if it makes any sense but right now I’m angry and I’m so disappointed in people in “US”. All these stories about one country hating another, one religion fighting the other, straight people loathing gays and some self declared saviors of their own land killing or abducting girls who wish to go to study, it all makes me angry and sick.

All those who use name of God for polishing their faith high above are forgetting that God didn’t create this world so we can fill it with bombs, arms, hatred, self-created religious propaganda and idiotism.

We are bunch of idiots for we don’t know how to live without segregating each other in categories. We don’t want humanity; we want labels – Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jews, Sikh, Black, Brown, Gays, Transgenders.

When it comes to living, we all want good clothes, best cars, plateful of delicacies, glass full of liquor and everything we can afford. Do we ever think about the religion, caste, color, gender and sexuality of the worker who sewed the denim we are wearing, who spend their mornings fixing the groceries on the shelf of the store we shop at or those who work in the shops we send our cars to for repair. No, we don’t care who does what. We want our luxury and we want to hate because we are idiots.

I feel so helpless for being the person who heard all that crap and who knows that punching one person won’t fix it, because world is full of such morons.

You know I’m sure even God would be doing the whole Rolling Eyes thing at the way we are living.

Anyhow, if you are someone who believes in love and world peace and no hatred and no animal cruelty…you are AWESOME…

Leaving with a beautiful song by Mary Lambert…because i don’t care about the haters…they are the only thing that makes world anything but beautiful…

Well done Mr. President…High Five ;) !!!!

Problem with me is that when I’m not well physically my brain starts working in a strange manner. I know same happens with everyone else, because a body is a body, right? Maybe. In my case, I end up in a situation where my lovely twisted mind starts thinking of every hurtful thing unrelated to the existing day or moment, irrespective of the fact how good the day or how fine the moment is.

When I’m unwell physically, my mind starts throwing things that hurt me right at me. Thoughts and memories from pasts, possible mess from future and everything to just ruin a perfectly normal day, because I’m unwell. How was the day? Bummer.

Well good thing, Obama won. Well done Mr. President…High five 🙂

I’m one of those people (I don’t know if there are people like me) who do not, will not and just cannot fight for my religion. I define religion as faith in something bigger, so you can hold on to it when feeling a wreck. Something you can believe in for there is no possible way a person like you can get family so nice, friends so amazing and health and freedom to live. That’s where I draw line for my religion. I will not and would not ever feel bad if someone mocks my definition because that’s for me. I do not understand many things in the world, because I have issues big time and I rarely have time to be the brilliant smarty pants who knows it all. I dont know thing about politics, commerce or changing the world, but i just cant dislike a person for things like color, religion and so on.

But I’m no saint either; I must have made many racial comments when i was young or unaware of what it meant until now. I may still, unknowingly, end up mocking someone but I don’t think I am in a position to judge anyone, because I too live in a house of glass.

Freedom to live without being judge on your colour, religion, caste, sexuality and country is priceless. What Obama can do for giving this freedom is what Romney can’t even think of. I may never rejoice my definition of freedom, because freedom comes with a price and I can’t really afford it, so I live in an illusion of freedom. For everyone who voted for Obama, dude nice one. And for those who didn’t, there is more to the world than just economy, business and commerce. And congratulations Tammy Baldwin.

Change is not a light bulb you get to see in a flick of a finger…!!!

I don’t know if I made any sense today…I’m so not in a good mood. Sad thing about being sad is when you are standing alone behind closed doors with tears; there is no one to tell you how ugly you look in tears. So you continue crying…!!!

I so want to work on Dominique today but i guess i will have to lock up the Author of Dominique and push the Author of Jane Doe out on field.

P.S if you are a Romney fan please do not mind my words. Im not anti Romney, im just pro Obama.