Once upon a time in Gotham…!!!!

Some days I wake up so bitter that all I want is my headphones and my cup of coffee, with no one coming over to my cubicle to talk to me but it’s not how life goes.

I don’t think I can take part in NaNoWriMo this year, because I might have a busy month with the festival season and the fact that we might have few relatives coming over. Plus, I don’t have a story. I have but not like last year. Maybe if I can spend some time on the different concepts on my mind, but then I don’t know.

Today a funny thing happened; I was on a Skype call with a Polish translator with my Project Manger. He was the one on call and I was sitting next to him because it was a task I was overseeing. So while he was on the phone, I sat there next to him for whole 2 hours just thinking and looking around and day dreaming.

Me: If I could meet a celebrity

Myself: Meg Ryan of course

Me: That would be so awesome

Myself: So Frekin Awesome

Myself: Who else?

Me: Neil Patrick

Myself: Patrick Dempsey

Me: Stana Katic

Myself: Ian somerhalder

Me: Ian, anytime, Ian

Me: Winona Ryder maybe

Myself: That would be cool too

Me: So cool

Myself: Pretty Cool

Me: I know right?

Myself: Yeah

Voices: Hey crazy head look around

Me & Myself: Seriously?

Voices: What?

Me & Myself: Buzz Kill

Truth is I was so bored and sleepy that I was wondering how much fun it would be if I could just meet one of the many people I admire. I have a list of people I would like to meet, most of them are singers and few of them are movie stars and a handful of them come of TV shows. What’s wrong in making a list? Nothing. Plus this comes way too low in the list of crazy things done by me.

nph

I’m just eagerly waiting for Grey’s Anatomy, Glee and Castle to come back now that Pretty Little Liars is on summer break.

I will go and try to finish my book; you guys enjoy a song from another awesome person I would love to meet.

Let’s sing a song, forgetting every right and wrong…!!!!

Today I had a moment where I wanted to quit my job and become a bird watcher or an environmentalist. I wanted to learn all about environment, birds, trees and the green world and do what nature followers do. Not that I’m saying their job is easier than mine, in fact I think it’s too difficult to be them.

Reason I said I wanted to a nature observer was because I wanted to go outside stay in the open feel the air, instead of being stuck in a small depressing cubicle where all I do is put on my headphones to give people sign that I’m busy, whereas I’m just dying inside of nothing.

I often like to take a break and walk up to the window in our washroom to just look outside and feel the sun-rays and greenery of a tiny little tree at the backside of our office. Weird?

I think I know why I’m having trouble fixing me, why it’s different his time. My crazy part and my rational part are sort of in a tug of war and end result I’m fluctuating.

Sunday I did something stupid, something that can be easily described as carelessness. Although the blunder I did was amusing to people with me, I couldn’t find it amusing. All I wanted to do was scream out loud at myself. I was like “What d fck is wrong with you?” It was a classic example of how much I’m lost lately.

Sometimes I wish I was a singer, because singers are awesome people. I mean Avril, Adele, Gaga, Brandi and all those amazing people who live in my phone are like so awesome. I wish I could sing and express everything that I feel. I mean I know I can write but still. Which reminds me i still have no story, I mean I had but I don’t have it anymore. Why? How? Simple, my story that I was very happy to come up with holds so much resemblance to Dominique. Everything I think of is being overshadowed by Dominique. I’m just too invested in it.

Dammit! why couldn’t i be a Super Hero who could sing? MJ would have loved me more.

Voices tell me to quit NaNoWriMo even before it has started, but I’m not giving up even if I end up writing crap I will write everyday till I can. Like I said before if I’m going down, I’m doing it my way.