Even bundle of episodes of Castle and Gossip Girl, hours of music and a cup of chocolate icecream in freezing cold day couldn’t help me avoid the stream of tears that have been threatening since morning. It wasn’t a good day and of course I knew I was going to have trouble going through the day with my record of sleep, but not everything that happened was about my inability to sleep on time.
I was a misery all day because I could not focus or even think straight but I knew the cloud of blues were just the sleepy me, but the conversation I had with my mother was real. It wasn’t my sleepy mind’s hyper reaction to everything.
Truth is I feel bad for being so different form people in my life because I think it makes them worry and somewhat disappointed. Anyhow, I know I just need to lie down and when I will wake up I will be fresh and nothing will hurt. At least I hope.
Right now, all I want to do is just hug someone and cry till I sleep. I wish I wasn’t me but then that’s a lie too. I want to be me, I think I’m a nice person. well that would be a lie too, i think im awesome only not the kind people should have around them.
Even though it’s like 1:30 am and I am all ready for a horribly sleepy day tomorrow, I’m happy and smiling. Ask me why, ask me why. I wrote 800+ words for Jane Doe. Yes, I worked on Jane Doe. I almost feel like dancing on my bed but my Snowy wont like it, as he is busy sleeping. So I do imaginary dance inside my head for now.
Last night I created a Twitter account which I have no idea why I did because I have no friends on Twitter. I have friends but I don’t socialize anymore to know if my friends are on Twitter. I guess it’s just a craze of using the Twitter app on my phone, like it was calling me so I made an account. I can do some really weird stuff and wonder why I did it. Doesn’t matter because I just created 800 words. Yes, I did.
So I’m so hooked to Castle that even though its super late and I have Gotham tomorrow I won’t go to bed without watching the S4 finale. S4 E22 was so awesome I was like whoa! It almost got me. It’s really getting cold day by day and I hate that because if it makes me lazy and not want to get out of bed.
I got to go now because my download says 11 minutes for the episode. Yay! I’m doomed for tomorrow but I’m high on writing right now so who cares.