What if what everyone called red was actually blue? Could it be?

Human brain can store and process hundreds and thousands of things, yet we fail to make even a slight change in our perception when it comes to rules, society and the stone-age lessons

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I dont know about the world, but i apologise to you Reyhaneh Jabbari…

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/10/26/reyhaneh-jabbari-letter_n_6049846.html

Humanity is dying everyday, every second. I will write this post, show my anger, my sadness and soon it would become a faded memory for those who would read and for me. We would move on to another story, another pain, another big news and another crisis.

When does this stops?

As always i see a world where empathy is crushed by stubborn beliefs, laws and society. Why are we spending so many billions on finding another planet with life, when we don’t even respect, care or think about the ones ending here every other day?

Because you are different…!!!!

Today I was googling something and somehow I ended up to a story of a 15 year old boy Larry King. He was shot twice by one of his school mates who was also a young boy.

I don’t know much except what I could find on Google. Prosecutors believe it was a hate crime because Larry was Gay and different from other kids, wore makeup and dressed differently. Defense says the kid who shot was often teased and provoked by Larry.

Isn’t it sad. Gun violence, hate crime and everything that we get to read. When did a kid turn into a killer? was Larry killed for being Gay? I don’t know. My point is when I read such stories I wonder if we as the people could do something to save the life lost. Whether Larry was provocative or just an innocent kid struggling with his teenage life being different from others, he didn’t deserve to die. And the kid who shot could we have stopped him? Why did we hand him access to a weapon. By WE I mean the people around, school teachers, parents and everyone who was part of what happened to two young boys. One lost his life to death and other lost his to result of his actions. Why couldn’t we save them both?

This happens to me alot when I read about such incidents, specially about suicides. The only thought that comes to me is “couldn’t it be stopped?” I wonder why wasn’t any body looking closely enough to know it was time to intervene or help.

Maybe my understanding of the whole case is less or even wrong, all I kno it’s sad how we fail to protect our kids by not intervening when one is bullied, teased, provoked or abused and we give them what they should never have guns.

Sorry for blabbering, but reading about a kid losing his life for being Gay made me so sad. So sad. I have read about kids who have taken there life for same reason and today all those stories came back to me.

Just one of those days when I wish I was a superhero for real, because world needs one. Hatred has killed compassion and violence has suckerpunched greatest gift to mankind “life”.

Nobody deserves to die for being different…life shouldn’t be so cheap.

My shrink has advised a song every hour, for next few years…!!!!

Right now, I wish to type everything that is inside me, even the deepest darkest corner of me but then that would be crazy and the end of my social existence. I don’t really care about people, wasn’t born that way but I do care about people in my life.

Sometimes I try to tell myself maybe it’s all going to end up fine, maybe everything that will happen will only put pieces in their right places and I will find the dawn. Maybe is a big word but I can’t trust it, so I don’t live in the whole aura of maybe. I can’t.

It’s snowing in the northern part of my country and I wish I could just take a break, pack my bag and go there. Only problem, it’s me and I can’t do that. Then again I do have a vacation plan I just need universe to not screw it. yesterday after a long long time I wrote few pages on one of my pocket diary that I keep in my bag for “breakdown” days when I end up going bluer than blue. So I wrote and it felt good.

I’m supposed to sleep now and I will do just that.

Today in the evening when I came home I accidentally placed my phone on a wet surface; there was some water on the table. I cleaned it and then I forgot. Few minutes later I was walking snowy when I realised my phone is off.  My phone usually doesn’t switch off even on low battery and as far I remember it had some battery I think. I tried to restart it but I won’t start, I panicked. Usually the first thought people have about their dead phone is how to receive or make calls, my first thought was “fck no don’t die how will I go to office without music and headphones”. True story. I panicked that with no phone I will have no access to my music and there are still 2 more days to go before weekend.

I really need an iPod or something because while my phone is fine and alive it might someday actually die and leave me with no music. I will die if I have to go through my day without my headphones. I need music to turn off the whole cocktail of emotions inside me or in some cases to start flow of emotions.

Good news my mother is coming back tomorrow.

So its 130 and i need coffee, actually i need to sleep coffee is something i want to cheer me up. I wish i had icecream in the fridge but there is none. Okay i really need to go, i have Gotham and two more days. I am so looking forward to the weekend so i can sleep for 9-10 hours like crazy.

Have to work on Jane Doe too on the weekend. I miss the thrill of November but it’s okay December is my favourite month too.

Goodnight world!