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I’m so glad I’m out of the zombie zone I was in, yesterday. Has happened before too and it always leaves me wondering how powerful a mind is, if it decides to shut down there is nothing you can do about it.
Lately, Gotham is going super busy which leaves me all exhausted by the end of the day which kind of is keeping me from blogging and from my latest resolution. I have decided to work on Jane Doe again, sort of re-work. I want to do changes, major ones to send it again and hopefully this time it would be more presentable.
I can’t work on Dominique, Crossroads, New York and the other untitled story I have in my laptop knowing I failed with Jane Doe. Knowing that I could still try to work on it, fix it, re-brush it and send it again. I keep thinking about how writing was my one true love; something I used to love doing no matter how crazy things have had been but now its one thing I can’t do. I don’t know if its the rejection of Jane Doe or the fact that my stories are not what people would like to read.
I only write about scarred souls, people with tragedy and revenge and death is often there. I like to write tragedy and I know I’m not a good writer, heck I’m not even a story teller. But I like to write. So, here I’m doing one thing that I like, write. I have decided to get back to Jane Doe, cause I want to believe trying one more time is what I need.
I might never get any of my work published but I don’t want to say I never tried. I don’t have much regrets in life, trust me. I mean my life is one hell of a drama but I have never done anything to regret except one or two stupid things. Not writing because I won’t make it would be a regret I don’t want in my resume of life.
Plus, this is one thing I need to do to stay sane, to stay alive…So i will write…
Scarred souls are the steering wheel of fictional dramas
Yes it rained today and yes I had Me-Time, so I think I’m okay with Monday hanging on my head. Today I wrote a page, random scene, just something that came to my mind so I scribbled it down for fun sake. Writing makes me happy, it’s like a drug.
I have started read Dead Scared by S.J Bolton, hope the book is good, so far it is. After this I will start with And The Mountains Echoed, because I’m a big fan of Khaled Hosseini’s previous two books. The man is a genius. His first book is one of those two books I recommend everyone. Reading work of such people make me want to be one of them, a writer, an author, a story teller.
Tomorrow is going to be a busy day because that’s how it has been for past few weeks, plus a new intern from Turkey is going to join. So I have to train him. Sometimes I sound like a different person to my own ears, because when I’m working I’m different. In a busy heavy routine, trying to work with people around me I often look at myself from outside and say “good job girl, you are keeping your calm”.
Got to go. Will read few pages before I sleep.
O btw, I love this song from Demi Lovato