Summer blues are more appropriate & acceptable, than mental illness…

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I want an ice-cream, a hug and a dog…!!!!

I have been suffering from some weird kind of pain in my right side and now it’s almost in every corner of my stomach. So now when i breathe i wince in pain. Problem is i kind of don’t want to fall sick, not now. Not the right time dude. Any other time would have been okay but not now.

My second problem is “Summer” and if you are an Indian or have been to this side of the world, you would know why that’s a problem. Bloody too damn hot and you what’s the crazy part of the story, my car’s A.C has just died. Awesome. The car company says they have ordered some part that isn’t working and so i have to wait.

So i might be dying. It won’t rain. My car’s AC is dead. The book i pre-ordered is yet to come. This year i have missed on every single Super Hero movie. A good friend of mine and i are now acting like strangers. My stories are still standing where they were, half and incomplete.

I think i can write an essay on things going wrong but i rather not. Cause good thing is my father is recovering and im so relieved. Im not really that close to him like most of the daughters are but seeing him unwell was not cool.

 

 

 

Heat is making me Hulk…!!!!

Dear Summer,

Im so, so, sorry i asked you to leave.

Little

There was a time i used to love writing letters. It was the time when Google and Laptops were kind of technology aliens all ready to take over the world of pen and paper. Seems like a life time ago. I used to love buying good looking diaries and notebooks and notepads, classy pens and pencils. Stationary was my best friend back then. I still have so many diaries in my wardrobe and i wonder what to do with them.

I used to write sorry, thank you and i love you letters to friends who were special to me. I think telling a person how special he or she is on a piece of paper is closest thing to telling it in person. emails, whatsapp, tweets, fb posts are emotion killer. Truth is, I find writing down a small one line thank you on a paper more appealing and personal than pinging someone offline saying “Thank you for being a part of my life and for letting me have you as a friend.”

Anyhow. With the kind of week i have been having i desperately need a Meg Ryan or Winona Ryder movie marathon. Nothing would make me more happy.

 

like a paper boat stuck behind a rock in the river…

Sometimes i dream about people i dont even know. Someone i never met. I mean sometimes these dreams are so real, yet i have no idea who the people are im with. This morning i woke up to such a dream, it was a tragic and sad dream but it felt so real and thus scary.

Anyhow, i have had a very lazy weekend. I didnt do much, except having coffee, going for long drive by myself, finding me junk food, reading a little, watching lots of episodes all night long, sleeping all afternoon and for a change i did spend time walking, rope-skipping and running a little.

I think im going to be very sorry for saying i hate winters because im already hating the early summer. It was so hot all day but thing is right now its all rainy, windy and good outside. Im already dreading the months of May, June and July.

I’m taking forever to finish “The Book Thief” and my writer’s block is like a disease i cant get rid of…

My headphones died on me…On a MONDAY…!!!! :(

So this is it. All my favourite shows are now on their seasonal break which means no Greys Anatomy, no Glee, no Revenge, no Castle and no Vampire Diaries for next few months. Am i sad? Maybe, a little. Am i okay? Very much..verry very much. Why? Because now i have got time to focus on reading and writing.

I have been spending so much time watching fictional characters im in love with that i have stopped reading and i dont remember when was the last time to i wrote my character. So this is my time to go back to my reading and writing. Though Dexter and PLL are coming back but i can manage one episode a week than whole week of Tv shows.

So how was Monday?

I dont know, i was lost after my headphones died and i had to go through the whole day without a song.

There is a girl next to me at work she was more worried than me, because she knows how glued im to my headphones…in fact it was her who made me notice last week how i went through a whole day without my headphones. That’s when i realised man it was a busy week.

Plus its 43-44 some degrees here and i think i should officially apologies to the weather God for saying i hate winters…for surely i can take winters.i love winters. i want winters. how i miss them. Bloody summer is killing my brain cells and its just the beginning.

and the wedding is over…almost!!!!

As you know I have been MIA from blogging because of the family wedding. So tired and exhausted, every part of me hurts.
There is nothing more exhausting than an indian wedding. Have never drove this much. And its damn hot outside.
I hate summers so much…I hate it.
Am just desperate for a quiet day at home. Just my room which has been taken from me. I can hardly find a place to sit alone.
And from tomorrow its back to Gotham. No rest, no break…!!!!

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

And i thought i was ignoring words…!!!!

So it seems we might not going for the wedding. Under normal circumstances, I would have been happy about it but since the reason I’m not going is because my dad has got viral and he isn’t well, I dont really think it makes me happy. I rather be at that wedding than be at home because he isn’t well.

I was watching this episode of Castle where Beckett ends up with a case that brings out her PTSD and she has hard time dealing with it. Episode shows Beckett with her therapist and I was like wow I could do with a session like that. Would that help? Nope but what the heck I can at least talk and not worry about the guy or about being judged, after all he is getting paid to sit and listen.

I seriously wonder how therapy sessions and medicine help a person; I don’t think it can help me. But on the other hand, I don’t think I have that kind of depression. So I read a chapter from Jane Doe today and realized two things. A- I need more content more pages more words B – I think I can write okay and I think I’m a not so bad writer. I may not be Ernest Hemingway, but I can write decent not-great but decent. Anyhow, that’s what I think.

It’s getting cold and I’m not sure how do I feel about that. I have been a person who hates summer but winter isn’t my favorite season either. I prefer monsoon. Rain and rain.

When I was young, as in teenager kind young, I had this thing that if I ever get to choose my way of leaving the world. I would want to exit like Leonardo di caprio’s Titanic character Jack. Why? Well he died for love and right before he died he lived the most beautiful days of his life loving someone who loved him back. Yes I was sort of romantic once and then reality happened. I still am romantic but I find it difficult to actually show love when I’m busy fighting other emotions like anger or agony or panic and etc etc etc.

My body begs me to sleep but I think I won’t. I need a trip like a vacation…I need to pack my bags and get out of my city. I was going today but I don’t want to go to a wedding, I want to pack my bag and go to a city where the only purpose of my presence is sightseeing and eating all day. Anyhow, right now I’m looking forward to Christmas because around Christmas one of my oldest best friends is coming to this side of the country, which means I might get to see her. I miss her.

I’m so bored; I’m just writing random stuff. But to be honest I would love a real conversation right now. Only problem, I don’t have anyone to talk to at this time of the day.

Okay I think I should go…Goodnight world!