When you don’t have a friend to talk to, you create one…!!!!

I started writing when I was young and didn’t had any friends. For a long time in my life I didn’t had real friends, the ones who stick with you. Or any kind. So I carved them in diaries and back pages of school notebooks with a name and a story. I created my own friends.

I started writing in search of friends and back then it was easy because I hadn’t crossed the point of life where you bump into truth, get married and stuck in a sour relationship. Finding truth is like getting stuck in a one way lane, there is no way back.

I still write but now I know things.

Stories melt, fictional friends evaporate and it leaves a hole little too deeper to be filled.

I think the only reason I write is because I was born with a story too.

Superheroes and writers have one thing in common…they both hide behind something…whether it’s a mask or a pen and a paper!

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Dear Alfred, thank you for being Batman’s Batman…!!!!!

I might have done a hundred things wrong to get the pain of being a super hero with two lives, one for me and one for the world, but I must have also done one thing right for I found this one amazing person who loves all faces of mine Batman or Bruce Wayne, don’t matter.

Dear Batman…

Dear Batman,

Its okay to be tired and exhausted and low for you are just Bruce Wayne, a millionaire with a fancy mask and damn cool gadgets.

– Voices inside your head

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RIP Robin Williams…sorry, we couldnt save you….!!!!

Tuesday was a heavy day with something hurting inside so bad that I could hardly keep my face straight, all I wanted was to cry but with the job of being a Super Hero you don’t get to take off your mask not until you are back at home and all alone. Only Alfred gets to see Batman as Bruce Wayne and in my case no one because my Alfred was my dog who isn’t here. God I miss him.

So, I don’t know how to say this but news about Robin Williams kind of hit me hard and not because he was a great actor and I have seen his movies. It’s because of the cause of death. Suicide. Has always been a touchy subject for me, always. People who die because they are hurting are people who drowned because no one could save them.

He was the funny guy, who spent all his life joking and making hilarious faces to make others laugh and smile, while grieving inside all alone. Some people struggle silently and try to keep themselves floating but in the end they get drowned and nobody gets to save them. Why? Why can’t we save people who are in pain?

Why is sadness so colourless at times?

Why do we believe that someone who is smiling all the time isn’t capable of feeling pain? Why some people cant find voice for their inner struggle?

I don’t know why but when I hear about a suicide it kind of makes me sad in a bad way, like we failed a person. Suicide scares me because mental illness is for real, it’s not Santa Claus and not many people like to accept it. Some people might prefer to call it selfishness and cowardliness but when a person is so hurt that dying seems the only way out, he/she needs help not lecture.

Robin Williams had his demons and yes he died because he drowned in his darkness, but he would always be remembered for his act of spreading laughter and smiles. If only sadness had a colour or smell, if only mental illness came with big blinging sign boards that said “SOS”. Truth is not everyone gets to show the hurt and darkness, but it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

I know people were sad or surprised or shocked but i was hurt in a different way. For me the news was beyond a celebrity losing the battle of depression, for me it was loss of another person to the hardcore reality of sadness.

Pain, sometimes, has tendency of sticking to people in a way where it becomes a part of their existence.

 

I’m a Superhero…

Superheroes are basically bunch of liars who also happen to be good fighters, acrobats, experts in web weaving, rope jumpers, rich millionaires, flying experts with cape and owners of expensive cars and guns.

So, I do not have all that but I do know how to lie… I’m a Superhero…