Dancing inside my head…!!!!

Everything is crazy right now inside my head, it’s all a big mess but the funniest thing is that despite of all the twistiness inside me I today mark 6 years in Gotham city. It’s a big day for me for many many many reasons. Not just because I complete 6 years in a company but because I had an unbelievable journey in past 6 years.

The day I gave my interview changed a lot for me, in fact changed everything for me. I love my self but don’t consider myself as a good person, or a responsible one, and when I see at this one and the only achievement of my life I feel emotional. Wasn’t I standing on the wrong side of the edge when I got this job? These past 6 years gave me friends, responsibility, a sense of self respect and saved me from my own darkness. Yes I’m all twisty again but the journey I had saved me.

One fine day I’m sitting in my dentist’s room with my mouth wide open and some kind of drilling equipment making scary noises, when I get a call about some job interview. I’m young, I’m lost and I’m blue in a bad way so I dismiss it but a friend of mine convinces me saying just an interview probably. I get up next day and ask myself what’s the harm in going; I have to find a job anyhow. And I walk in to an interview that changed everything.

My first salary was nothing but the feeling it gave me to my dark and twisty self, it was priceless. I have spent a large amount of my grown up life crying at night, feeling guilty and being ultra blue but when I got  my first cheque, bought a phone from my own salary, paid for my car and completed 6 years …every single moment was like God telling me ‘Hang on’…!!!

My parents are proud of me, I know they are disappointed and worried but they have a sense of pride because I’m independent. This is a big thing for me, because I have always lived in fear of being a failure both professionally and personally. So when I look at this thing that I have with this job I feel good about myself, like I’m not that lost.

Though I see myself becoming the person I was before I had this job and before I met my saviour, I feel so happy right now. I’m grateful and thankful, yes I may never sound like someone who respect what I have but I’m. Unfortunately I have lost my control over my emotions and the right-time-right-face ability.

In these 6 years I have also made friends I am so thankful for. Every time I thank God for this job, I also say thank-you for the people I met. Maybe that’s why it gets so difficult now at Gotham but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate having it in my life.

Right now I’m high on emotions and I am missing a friend, someone who made my journey an adventure. You don’t meet people so amazing just like that; you need to have my kind of luck.

This day was my Dawn when I needed it back then, just like I need one again. Some days are so important that no amount of twistiness can take it from you, so you smile even when you had forgotten to because it’s like Christmas you just have to have that shine.

 

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400th post & a thankyou note…!!!!

Sometimes dark

mostly blue

sharing with you

all my colors

all my days

even the voices

and the heroes

living inside me

together we

you and me

walk

talk

and make

a world

of words and memmories

place i share

my worrries

my darkness

the mess

and the smiles

while

i hop on

from

one day to another

winter to summer

thankyou

is for you

cant sing

but can write

to you

stay there

stay here

its a long way

of being gay

of being blue

for you and i

Its not me

we

make

littlemissobsessives’sanatomy…!!!!

 

 

Little is thankful for…!!!!

We don’t do thanksgiving in India, but since when did I let religion or country define what I do…so I’m going to tell you about things I’m thankful for.

Yes I know, I’m usually cribbing and crying saying how much messed up I’m but that doesn’t mean I’m not thankful. I cry and go blue because I’m someone who is hurt and can’t talk about it and there is nothing in this whole world anyone can do to fix it. But believe me when I say I am thankful.

Thankful for life, for people I have and even Gotham. I have a family who loves me because they go with tantrums all the time. My mum, dad and my brother find it difficult to understand me but they love me, which is probably why I get sadder. I’m so thankful for them, for the fact that they let me be all kido even when I’m not supposed to be. Having a family is a thing to be thankful for and I’m. I don’t ever show them how much they mean, I take them for granted but they are special to me.

My thankyous extend to so many people; my friends are my life’s biggest support. I’m thankful for friends who know the story and who don’t but still do not care. There are people who are more than friends to me, they are my family, and they are my people and my support system keeping me alive.

Also, I’m thankful for Gotham. I know I know I say a lot of things about how Gotham sucks but its Gotham that makes me an independent grown up. Gotham and I may not have the love we had once between us, I still am thankful for having Gotham. Gotham gave me so many things, Gotham gave me my most awesome person, it gave me reason to make my parents be proud of me, it gave me my first cheque, my car and the respect among people.

And I won’t end up without saying I’m thankful for Snowy. A tiny miny puppy came in to my life and has become everything to me. I take people for granted, he takes me for granted.

Thankful for this blog too!!!!

Thankful for all the good food in the world

Thankful for my coffee

Thankful for the all the ice-creams in the world

Thankful for all the music in the world

 

Thankful for a home

Thankful for good health