I cant, just cant decide who is my favorite. Im in love with Beckett, Castle is my funny guy and their love story kills me, whereas Linden and Holder are like ‘I got your back, buddy’ which makes me all teary. So i refuse to pick one, i wont.
Was suppose to be a happy weekend, but i guess that word kind of has some issues with me. Anyhow, weird but am looking forward to go back to Gotham tomorrow.
I am worried about my awesomeness…its all down to minus 20.
Before I go I want to say “Thankyou Veena Sud” for The Killing. What show.
Im one those of weird people who fall in love with fictional characters to the state where it hurts to see the character dying, even its all fiction. Probably because fiction is where i find peace, love and a sense of calmness. Truth, reality and real people sort of hurt me and i feel like everyone is always judging me. Well i know they got reasons and they are only concerned but.
Anyhow, so its 2 am and i just saw an episode and a fictional character in the show died,well it kind of makes me sad. I mean, what happened to happy endings? Wasn’t fiction the place to find them? I know its not that kind of show where its all roses and sunshine but still. Truth is i have had a bad and a good day, which makes me all weird right now. Good day cause i was out having fun in evening and because i have 3 days of off now with lots of fun planned but i woke up weird. The sense of gloom i woke up with is kind of sticky and even a good evening has not been able to wash it away.
I wish life was fiction, i wish i could just walk inside a book or a show and live like a character inside them, i wish there was a Dawn for real. I wish. Reality is kind of roaming above me like a blue weather, which is why i cant shake off the fact that every smile i give is fake, every laugh i have is fake and im not like any of the people around me and never will be and no one will ever get it, even the ones who love me dearly.
I sound sad i know, sulky i know but i think its the whole waking up on the wrong side of the bed thing. I need to sleep it off and i will be fine because tomorrow is a busy day. Movie, shopping, mall and loved ones. Its just right now i cant find my hope capsule so im all acting like those people with no faith. Cant believe im actually crying over a fictional character. Man! i am super weird.
Better go. Goodnight world!
Last night i had a karaoke night in my room, as i danced and sang to loud music from the speakers in my room. I used my television remote as my fake microphone while jumping up and down on my bed late at night.
My mom was worried i was going to break something in my room, my father was worried about neighbours complaining about loud music at that time of the night. But it was so much fun and rejuvenating.
I don’t know what triggered it but i had the best karaoke night because i danced like no one was watching, because no one was watching. I do this dance on my bed session alot but usually on a weekday.
What can i say, between Denial and Acceptance there is a long journey of mixed emotions and crazy moments.
I have been having a very busy time at Gotham and even though its killing me, im happy about it. You cant afford to think and go wailing because your mind is busy working. Nice deal. Even though bottling up emotions is a recipe for disaster it always works well for few good drama free days.
I should do more of this my-kind karaoke nights, at least i will get some kind of exercise while im trying to break my bed. No tv episodes isn’t that bad but im afraid with no internet, i might not be able to complete this year’s NaNoWriMo or worst take part in it. Lets see, even if i don’t i will start writing as soon as im back.
Got to go, busy day tomorrow plus i feel exhausted.
Sometimes i wish i was more expressive and less walled up. Sharing and expressing is a good thing and i wish i could do that. If only i wasn’t the mean angry Hulk anymore, who enjoys long drive, buying coffee, shopping for books and dancing to music…all alone. If only i wasn’t the “my own favorite person” kind of person.
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I think these are just tears of exhaustion. Imagine if life was simple as going to fridge and opening it to get a hug or calling the home delivery store for a hug or just snapping a finger to get hugged. Nah! Life isnt that simple. Its hard, you dont get a hug just because you want one. Not if you live a life of someone who likes to or prefers to be aloof and alone.
I just finished my second James Patterson novel and he is good. Really good. Both the books were so hard to keep down. This second one 9th Judgement was kind of crazy with so much thrilling suspense. I plan to read all of his Bennet and Lindsay series. My bloody internet has died and I have decided to do something about it once we are back from the family wedding. So no internet, no tv shows which means all I have got are the books. Bring it on.
I need another cup of coffee but I think I should just sleep early. The week has been nothing but a crappy set of busy days which in a way am greatful about. I hate slow days, makes me think and go blue. But busy days are breaking me physically.
Everyday im so exhausted that I have no energy for workout. There goes my resolution to exercise daily.
Imagine im actually looking forward to a family wedding that could be hard on me. Why? Five days off from work. Its like there is no win win. Work or a vacation that consists of wedding, relatives and people looking at you with those “you are next” looks. Lovely.
With so much science we still dont have a hug machine? Shame. If only I was smart enough to make one. I had a bear once, where did he go?
Got to go for im afraid if I didnt go sleep, I will make me one of those instant coffee with sachet and hot water.
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I’m highly disappointed with the finale of Dexter’s last season. Before i go on talking about what the hell happened let me answer a simple question “why i was avoiding blogging for past few days?”… Answer is simple – I don’t know.
Now that you know that i don’t know lets go back to Dexter. Its juts crazy how you have this very brilliant, out of ordinary and out of box concept of a serial killer who kills only bad guys, who is struggling to be normal around family and friends who adore him for he is nothing but a sweet geeky guy who loves bowling and boating. And then, you just screw it all in the end.
Past few days i have been busy doing nothing but watching back to back episodes of The Killing because im obsessed with it. Let’s be honest im scared now, what will be the finale of The Killing, Pretty Little Liars, Grey’s Anatomy, Castle and Vampire Diaries. Dexter broke my heart into a million pieces and in ways that i am scared about same happening by other shows. I thought it’s just me, then my brother said the same thing and then i checked internet and saw everyone is saying the same thing. Why Dexter why.
I totally hate the way they handled things with Debra Morgan. Bad way to kill her character, of course i didn’t wanted her to die but if they had to kill her …Dude! Throwing her in sea? What’s got into you Dexter? Dark Passenger or Dumb Passenger? I get the whole idea of not letting your sister suffer, but couldn’t you just take out the ventilator system and leave Deb there?
I mean What the F…I was totally disappointed with the ending of Prison Break but what Dexter did is super sad. Two most extraordinary shows ended in most sloppy ways. Totally crazy.
So this is it. All my favourite shows are now on their seasonal break which means no Greys Anatomy, no Glee, no Revenge, no Castle and no Vampire Diaries for next few months. Am i sad? Maybe, a little. Am i okay? Very much..verry very much. Why? Because now i have got time to focus on reading and writing.
I have been spending so much time watching fictional characters im in love with that i have stopped reading and i dont remember when was the last time to i wrote my character. So this is my time to go back to my reading and writing. Though Dexter and PLL are coming back but i can manage one episode a week than whole week of Tv shows.
So how was Monday?
I dont know, i was lost after my headphones died and i had to go through the whole day without a song.
There is a girl next to me at work she was more worried than me, because she knows how glued im to my headphones…in fact it was her who made me notice last week how i went through a whole day without my headphones. That’s when i realised man it was a busy week.
Plus its 43-44 some degrees here and i think i should officially apologies to the weather God for saying i hate winters…for surely i can take winters.i love winters. i want winters. how i miss them. Bloody summer is killing my brain cells and its just the beginning.
Okay I know it’s so unlike me to update two posts in one night, but it’s Friday night and I just saw pilot episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I couldn’t stop myself, I could either write it in my diary but like I posted few minutes ago I don’t do diary anymore or I could talk to my dog who is busy sleeping on my bed. So here I’m blogging again.
Well I was planning to make myself a cup of coffee and watch Winona movie but I just did something else entirely. Not only did I go for a cup of tea instead of coffee, I also went for an old episode instead of a movie. I thought why not watch Glee but while I was searching Glee I ended up clicking on some random episode of Grey’s Anatomy from season 8 and I was like “hmm lets watch Grey’s but something from another season”. And that’s how I ended up clicking on season 1 episode 1.
Man! I forgot how it all began. Derek was looking so young and hot and total McDreamy. Oh and I loved watching Izzie and George again. I just don’t get it why they had to leave, I mean why. I don’t have other episodes from season 1 but I wish to and plan to download them and rewatch all of them, just for the sake of it. I think the reason why I love GA is because it keeps me close to human emotions, thus keeping me on ground and feel life. And then of course there is the characters George, Derek, Callie, Robin, Christina, Alex and everyone else. My favourite scene from the show “Your are my person” .
So I guess I should go now. Its 2:58 AM in my country, raining good outside and I have a Batman movie to go to tomorrow. Goodnight world!
Voices: Really? You freak me someetimes
Me: Guess what? the feeling is mutual
Voices: Hmm, you should not try mean. Doesn’t suits you.
Voices: oh i heard there is an opening in a secret Vampire club
Me (Grinning): I’m not a vampire, its just Friday night and i love Grey’s Anatomy
Voices: Sure, if you say so Freak
Me: I heard that
Voices: O00h i’m scared
Me: Rolling eyes