Her heart is made up of thousand little pieces of pain, no amount of happiness can make the hurting stop because she was made to hurt with every beat of her heart.
Life is Hunger Games
Things gone wrong have names
What you can’t fix
Is President Snow
Go with the flow
Pretend to be
The Mocking Jay
Pick your bow, arrow or gun
Hide and fight
Everything in your sight
Is a challenge
Is the Gamemaker
Believe that the odds
are in your favor…
Even if i pretend
Life is Hunger Games
And I’m Katniss Everdeen
I don’t remember
Raising my hand
To say ‘I volunteer’…
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I should marry myself, for all the things I do to keep me happy and going. But, it’s so exhausting. The constant efforts to keep mind busy, happy and pleased are effin exhausting and leaves me into pieces by the end of the day, which makes them useless for I’m back to being the broken bones of nothing.
Grey’s Anatomy s11E22, JJ dies and I went all weepy…So why was I crying? Because a fictional patient died? Because I’m a sensitive woman who cries over sad or happy scenes? Because I wanted to cry for days and I just did? I don’t know.
For past few days, I have been wondering about things. I get riled up at home, I hate being at Gotham and I am terrified of every ‘tomorrow’. All that awesome smouldering and smuggy aura that I try to carry at work is a lie I would live for as long as I’m alive. Forever. Because let’s be honest, no way in this life am I ever going to find dawn. frkn dawn is such an excuse to hold on to an invisible hope.
Day before yesterday, I woke up to a dream that was so beautiful. I was with a friend I miss and my little T-dog was there. It was like being in a world I left a long time ago. Sometimes I dream of Snowy like he never left and I wake up realizing how much I miss him. A friend of mine thinks, one of the reason I’m blue is because he left because everyone around me moves away to different places. True. Almost true. I’m the bluest of blue but not cause every friend I ever made moved away or because my dog died or because I’m an invisible suitcase with a story untold. I’m blue because I’m. That’s who I’m, that’s what I was meant to be a color, a word and a person who would spend rest of her day pretending to be awesome because like they say in Grey’s Anatomy
The carousel never stops moving
Today was one of those days when you just want to escape everything and everyone. You don’t want to be at work but you don’t want to go home either. You don’t want to talk to people at work or people at home. But there is no other place to be because your life is work or home.
This is where someone from universe sings me…
When you’re alone and life is making you lonely
You can always go downtown
I cant though, not now because its just Tuesday and there are still few days left before weekend walks back into my arms and kisses me.