Journey towards the bright light at the end of the tunnel continues…lets hope its not a train!!!!

My 31st and 1st and 2nd and 3rd and 4th all came and went with a swooshy sound, I didn’t get time to sit and ponder on how 2014 was and what my 2015 resolutions would be. Last year was relatively kind to me, but I did lose a friend in the crowd of expectations and lies. A friendship drowned somewhere causing an irreparable damage. Minus that I did fine with the standards tears, pain and heartache. I did drop to a whole new level of blues when I discovered new dark face of mine, but that’s no biggie. Apart from the usual, it wasn’t a nice year in terms of health. Yep! Definitely that’s where 2014 screwed up big. Overall, 2014 was decent, kinder and a snatcher for it snatched a friend.

When every day is a struggle some years prove too kind not because they tore you up little less, because you became little more immune and strong.

I did find a lot of new songs, new TV shows, a way back to my stories, few more novels on my shelf, new favourite pair of sneakers, some more scratches and dents on my car and introduction to Xanax. Walking into 2015 is more or like taking a blind turn on a dark rainy night, just not sure what to expect. Every year I hope I would bump into Dawn, I fear I would lose grip on the frays of hope and I wear faces that suffocate me. Maybe 2015 would be amazing, maybe it would be kind or maybe it would be my iceberg, I have no idea. Let’s destiny and universe do its thing, I have things to do too.

  • Find as many new songs as possible
  • Not to break my new phone (Oh yes big news Little is now HTC person Goodbye Nokia Windows)
  • Watch more movies of Jodie Foster
  • Drive slowly and more in control and safe and better and in any other way that would keep me away from repair shops
  • Buy a proper bookshelf or else my mom would sell away all the books lying around me
  • Read as many historical fiction as possible
  • Read at least one unread book in my book collection
  • Continue my relationship with happy food and coffee
  • Cheat on a fictional character by falling in love with another and another and another
  • Cry when no one is watching and put on my headphones when someone is watching
  • Watch You’ve Got Mail or any Meg movie on an impulse
  • Continue believing I’m a Vampire and stay up till late only to regret next afternoon at 3pm
  • Find a new donut to add to my confusion of what’s my favorite flavor
  • Finish editing at least one of my stories or just send an unedited version to a publisher for fun
  • Torture my body with worthless evening walks and jogging, despite knowing that Dunkin Donuts is where I belong

So, may be 2015 would be another 2014 or another 2013 or another 2012 or 11 or 10 or maybe it would be a whole new never seen totally mind boggling era…all I know, I’m a lone soldier battling a war and my resolutions are my weapon of defense against the unknown.

There is always another song to add to shuffle, another cup of coffee to put on Insta, another book to buy and another fictional character to fall in love with…

P.S leaving a fun remix by Bastille

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Read some, Wrote some, Watched some… #FictionMeAndWeekend

I’m too slow with my story, as in pace wise.  I did do some writing this weekend but i could have done better. Wasted a lot of time here and there, mostly because i have this unwanted and unwelcome and highly annoying friend  – my mood swings.

Anyhow, i think I’m going to finally finish a story. I don’t know if i would keep it or share it, i don’t know if its good or a crappy one but i do know that i need to do this. Write and wrap a story. I know I’m slow but I’m going to wrap it up before I start with my NaNoWrimo.

Today, when i was walking and running around in the park i had this thought. There were bunch of kids playing football who later on started playing with firecrackers as the season of Diwali is here. As, i ran around in circles looking at those boys i couldn’t help but wonder what kind of mother would i want to be. Yes, i know i don’t want to be a mother but if i ever did go through that bridge i would want my kid to grow up with these –

– Racism is bad

– Everyone is a person, there is no such thing as black, gay, loser, short, fat, brown

– Right to equality and freedom is more than a quote from a book

– Pets are family and we dont throw stones at family

– Never whistle at or disrespect any girl, not matter how she dresses up

– Empathy matters

– Being a leader is cool, but being a bully is not

– Earth is already polluted

– Super heroes are  for real. They are people who go out of their way to help others or make someone feel special

I don’t know why i was thinking about it but i feel we don’t teach our kids, specially boys, things out of the text books. Parents do the best they can, but there are some who believe its okay for their kids to be kids and learn from their mistakes. Which is good but when a kid bullies another kid and hurts him/her, that’s not the kind of mistake we want our kid to learn from. In fact that’s a mistake we should not let out kid make at all.

Mistakes that we should let our kids learn from should be ones like breaking a guitar and realizing he or she is better at sports not music, forgetting to bring important books to school and realizing it is important to get up early and spend some time with the school bag, breaking a window with a ball and realizing some games should be played outside in the lawn.

Its crazy, but i wish we would teach more than they learn from Maths, Social Science, Chemistry, Bio and History classes. I saw those kids with firecrackers and i wish i could tell them to not do that, because dogs, cats and birds get scared to death when something so loud happens.

May be I’m weird, just weird. I don’t even know how to talk to a baby when i m sitting in front of one and here I’m talking about things we should teach our kids.

So, i thought things like that and then shook my head wondering what on earth I’m thinking, I mean I should be the last person to be allowed to take care of a kid.

Anyhow, i think i should go now. Weekend is over and tomorrow is Gotham day.

Love is no sin…!!!!

Walk left

Walk right

Dance

Scream

& fight

Do

Whatever

You

Want to

Love

Lust

Make friends

Or

Pretend

You are

A rockstar

Do

Everything

Get a ring

Or another drink

Make boats

And planes

Draw words or lanes

On the wall

Crawl

Or stand

Fall

Or

Lie down

Sing loud

Be proud

Stay angry

Be hungry

Kiss

Kiss again

Go out in rain

Cry for real

Eat big meal

Get high

Drive fast

Put music on blast

Sing with the song

Do everything right

Try everything wrong

Love someone

Get a pet

Smile at everyone

Dance alone

Dance with everyone

Cook a meal

Burn some

Write a letter

Tear down a sweater

Sleep in your denims

Plan road trips

Sit with your mom

Go to Rome

Fall in love

Fall again

Break a heart

Start

Another story

Live the pain & the glory

Read books

And turn pages

Click pictures

Capture the ages

Find a soul mate

Play chess

Do a checkmate

Love your coffee

Spill a little

Live a little

Live a lot

Gloat

A little

Shop more

Share more

Draw

A bad painting

Keep it

Like it

Buy cars

Small toys

Race with boys

Twirl

With girls

Eat ice-cream

Dream

Dream again

Spill food

On yourself

Leave CDs on bookshelf

Watch lots of movies

Dress up nice

& Groovy

Run a lot

Sweat a lot

Walk slow

Watch the sun rise

& the moon glow

Hide a flower

In a book

Be believer

Or an atheist

Find christ

Or love

Cloud & morning mist

Fall & bleed

Buy stuff & feed

Strays

Always

Say I love you

To the face

In the mirror

Say your grace

Never

Let go

Of you

Do whatever

Makes you

Believe in forever

Don’t let the world

Tell you

What’s right

Or wrong

Be true

Be strong

Don’t cave

In

Be brave

Remember

Love is no sin…