Dear Martians, Run Now…!!!!!

So we found water or at least some kind of solid proof of it presence on Mars. You know the 17 years old me, back in time, would have jumped and danced and even cried with happiness, but the 2015 me is just so worried about the repercussion of it.

What? What? What?

Well, finding water is really cool and awesome but we are “HUMANS” we believe in causing pain, destruction and every possible type of atrocities to those who wish to live in peace. We found water now we would move mountains to find life and then we would land there and effinly rule like we are ruling the sad little earth.

Step 1: Find Life

Step 2: Smile & Shake Hands

Step 3: Click a Dozen Selfies

Step 4: Punch in Face

Step 5: Ban Local Music, Religion, Culture and Put “We Mean No Harm” signs along with…

“Martians with brown or black color report to left, LGBT Martians apply to right, those belonging to following religions as listed below must restrict to certain rules and remember to smile and say WORLD PEACE for our media camera. “

When I read about a 16 year old girl being stabbed in a Pride Parade, I literally felt tears threatening me on a busy work day. All she did was be part of a peaceful pride parade celebrating the equality rights and one lunatic just walks in attacks innocent people. Shira Banki, who had all her life in front of her, lost her life because among us are people who refuse to understand that everyone deserves to live. I specially don’t get those who hurt others in name of religion because I ‘m pretty much sure God never created people for sake of hating and hurting.

3 years old Aylan, his brother and mom were not the only ones who died on that day or day before or day after. But he became the heart wrenching -rock solid proof of how war torn countries are tearing the basic fabric of humanity, causing pain by those throwing shells and mortars and by those who struggle to shelter the scared ones.

And today I read about a guy beaten to death in a small town for he was, according to rumors, having beef in a beef banned place. Well, so we the humans just killed him.

It never ends, the pain caused by us. It would never stop.

I just hope Martians would run away to another planet before we land, because we are incapable of harmony. Some of us at least are totally incapable of following ‘Live and Let Live’.

I have been so exhausted mentally lately that now everything gets on my nerves and I can’t seem to shake the stinging darkness of the world I’m living in. Sometimes I wonder if Happy Ending is really a thing, maybe it’s a myth.

Forgive me for I vent…

17 years old me: Dear God let there be life and water on Mars
30 Years old me: #LOL
Martians on Mars: BOP BEEP BOP BEEP BOP BOP BUPPP BOOOOPPPPP (Translation- Run effin Eartians found us. Dammit RUNNNNNN)

ALIEN

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Only thing we learn from history is probably an idea to make a movie or write a book…!!!!

So, I come home from a very very busy day. I’m tired and I fall in front of television. There is some interview or news about some interview. The interviewer is from let’s say XYZ country and he is asking some ex military or maybe ex defense expert something that sounded more or less like this “If we ever do come to a war like situation with that country are we in state of using our nuclear power?” The interviewee sounds like a gentleman as he says “yes we can. But I hope we never have to because it would only mean destruction.”…I am already hating the question about some country having the power to destroy some other country but I love the answer. Before I could listen more to what the ex retired guy had to say power went off. So, I am sitting there wondering what and where we have come to.

Didn’t we learn anything from all those world war stories and miseries that shouted the atrocities caused by atom bombs, angry nations, self obsessed leaders and wrongly guided citizens?

I am ashamed of human race for what we have become. We are ever ready to hate each other because we belong to enemy lands or have different skin color or sexuality or not have same religion or same caste within the religion.

As I listened to that question all I could think of was why are enemy nations still carrying the grudge of ancient wars? Nuclear weapon is the thing we made to hate each other little more than we already do.

We are just bunch of stupid kids who forgot to grow up, we are only growing old.

In a world where we all are busy hating each other, music is the only thing that makes sense. Leaving you with a beautiful song that I was introduced to by fellow blogger ofsenseandsensibility

Kiss me Hardy, Kiss me Quick…!!!!

Oh Julie, Oh Julie

I haven’t been able to get these words out of my head since last night, since I finished reading Code Name Verity. I have never cried so much over a book, never. In fact, I couldn’t manage through last 47 pages without sniffing and crying and sobbing. Page 285 broke my heart forever, I don’t think I can ever recover from it.

I remember going to bed with tears in my eyes when I finished Moon at Nine, but I don’t remember crying this bad on any book.

Oh Maddie, Oh Maddie

Elizabeth Wein has written a master piece with everything from WWII, Nazis, true friendship, time testing love, courage, revenge, death and loss, all weaved so beautifully into words that ripped through my heart. I dont know if she got enough credit for this one. I would like to tell her what a lovely piece of fiction she has given to us.

Dear Elizabeth Wein,

I have no idea if you relate more to Maddie or Julie or the poor Engel, I don’t know who was your favorite character when penning this book down, I don’t know if you cried as much as I cried when that bus was on that bridge and I don’t know if I can ever get these names and people out of my head, but I do know you have done a bloody too good a job with the story, the characters, the name, the emotion and thrill.

Just want to thank you for letting me meet Queenie and Maddie.

Just a fan of your book,

Little

If the story and drama wasn’t enough, this book has some amazing lines and oh the humour…

It’s like being in love, discovering your best friend

Till last page, I hoped, I prayed, I begged. But…Oh Maddie, Oh Maddie.

I am not good with reviews, never have written any so all I can say is that Code Name Verity is one fine piece of historical fiction with enough drama, action, pain and emotions to change your life. All I can say is READ IT, READ IT.

It was around 2 o’clock when I decided to finish this one chapter and sleep but when I reached that one page I couldn’t sleep, how could I. I knew I had to finish it now.

Fly the plane, Maddie

Even if it meant spending my Friday with my head in my hands and a burned out brain. I did spend spend my Friday like a zombie but I couldn’t help it.

I don’t know for whom I cried more for Queenie or Maddie. But I do know when Julie yelled Kiss Me Hardy, Kiss Me Quick and when Maddie  fired that shot, I was left in pieces. IMG_20150515_025602

Damn! You Nazis. In every book, you make my stomach churn but this time you went way too far. Dammit.

There 4-5 books that i would re-read again and this one goes on the top of the list.

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Maybe there is life on an another planet & maybe they know its wise to stay away from us…!!!!

I think the only people who stay with us till the end are the characters we meet in the books we read. Last night i finished reading Torn Thread, a book based on a story of a 12 year old girl’s experience in a Nazi camp. Holocaust stories, real or fiction, often make me wonder how low humanity went.

I may not understand the complexity of religion and politics and old wars the world went through, but the ugly naked truth behind stories of people who died, or lived to talk about it, breaks my heart. When i read a holocaust book i don’t see a Jewish girl or boy or woman being denied life in Auschwitz, i see kids and women being brutally murdered.

Torn Thread is another book of courage, hope, faith, sisterhood, pain and dark truth of the good and bad we have become. I loved the book. I did.

When i finished reading it i couldn’t help but wonder how much resemblance it bears to Moon at Nine. Yes, i know the latter is a story of innocent love in the wrong era and the former is a story of sisterhood and struggle in a painful era. But both the books had true stories with nations at war and young protagonists who suffered and were made to pay the consequences of their existence.

We don’t need another planet, we are not meant to be civilized. We merely breath and procreate as we stamp over the privilege of being the only living beings in a lonely world of empty planets.

All we do is struggle and work hard to afflict pain on the weaker ones. We are not human beings god created us to be. We are broken parts of the good and bad left behind in the war of religion and politics. That’s what we are.

Voices in my head have gone AWOL…!!!!

World is a crazy place because we don’t want to love, we want to fight, wage war and drop bombs on each other, at the same time we don’t even want to accept the existence of those who just want to love and live.

Why I’m writing this? Simple, I want the world to know Love isn’t dead, it’s alive and living in each one of us only someone of us can embrace it and wear it on our sleeves.

Few days back I saw a movie “The Way” and today i saw “Into the Wild”, both are different stories but they both have one thing in common, travelling. While one guy travels because he wants to experience world beyond the money, politics, family secrets and lies and complicity of human relationships, the other travels because life has brought him to where he has nothing left to do but follow the legacy of his own son.

I want to travel because i can’t feel myself, i can’t feel the voices in my head, i can’t feel my own heartbeat.

P.S I ended up putting the wrong song yesterday i guess i was too busy listening Shania Twain on YouTube i didn’t notice what i uploaded. This is the song i wanted to put, the song i would like to believe is being sung for me…because i need it.

Earth is made of Water, Oxygen, People & Morons…!!!!!

Today I was whatsapping with a very old friend. We hardly talk and so we were exchanging usual “Hey” “How’s it going” stuff when we started talking about politics, culture, religion etc. My friend had some really extremist views and perspective to offer and I was kind of shocked and surprise.

I don’t know but I can’t ever ever hate one religion and love another. I don’t want to follow a religion if it means hating the others. I say thank you to god everyday for my loved ones, I’m thankful for what I have in my own way but I can’t go beyond. My friend was talking about how high he thinks of his religion and how much he dislikes this other religion and I wanted to hit him though the phone.

Whoa! You know all these years I used to believe that education can make a difference in changing the views of the world. But I guess I was wrong. Education has nothing to with it; people become haters even with the educated and posh upbringing.

Okay! I don’t know if it makes any sense but right now I’m angry and I’m so disappointed in people in “US”. All these stories about one country hating another, one religion fighting the other, straight people loathing gays and some self declared saviors of their own land killing or abducting girls who wish to go to study, it all makes me angry and sick.

All those who use name of God for polishing their faith high above are forgetting that God didn’t create this world so we can fill it with bombs, arms, hatred, self-created religious propaganda and idiotism.

We are bunch of idiots for we don’t know how to live without segregating each other in categories. We don’t want humanity; we want labels – Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jews, Sikh, Black, Brown, Gays, Transgenders.

When it comes to living, we all want good clothes, best cars, plateful of delicacies, glass full of liquor and everything we can afford. Do we ever think about the religion, caste, color, gender and sexuality of the worker who sewed the denim we are wearing, who spend their mornings fixing the groceries on the shelf of the store we shop at or those who work in the shops we send our cars to for repair. No, we don’t care who does what. We want our luxury and we want to hate because we are idiots.

I feel so helpless for being the person who heard all that crap and who knows that punching one person won’t fix it, because world is full of such morons.

You know I’m sure even God would be doing the whole Rolling Eyes thing at the way we are living.

Anyhow, if you are someone who believes in love and world peace and no hatred and no animal cruelty…you are AWESOME…

Leaving with a beautiful song by Mary Lambert…because i don’t care about the haters…they are the only thing that makes world anything but beautiful…

Some days I miss you more than others…!!!

Some days I miss you more than others and today is one such day because I can’t stop getting sad about losing Snowy. It’s like it happened today and my heart hurts so badly that I kept on saying ‘I want a dog’ again and again to my mother and I picked up a fight despite the fact that I know we can’t keep a dog right now. I was being stubborn because I was hurting, I still am.

All I want is to hug him once, just once, but I can’t do it not today, not ever. The pain came crawling to me when I parked my car outside this cafe to get me a cup of coffee; I saw this dog sleeping on the corner. I had a bread with me so I walked up to him and gave him the bread piece, he woke up and looked at me with those eyes…eyes that made me want to hug him, hug every dog in the world because I can’t hug  my Snowy. I walked back to my car and kept looking at him with tears in my eyes and he was looking at me (probably confused why I woke him, because I don’t think he even looked at the bread with his sleepy eyes). I was sitting in my car crying because suddenly I couldn’t stop missing Snowy, suddenly I realised I miss him and nothing in this world can bring him back, suddenly I realised no matter how much I beg  I can never see him again.

Somehow I feel no one can really get this emptiness; I mean my friends and family I know I lost something very dear but I don’t think they realise how a part of me grieves every second.

I feel tired now with the crying, worst once the tears came out rolling and i wiped them I realised I hadn’t washed my hand after eating the chilli pickle. Damn! My eyes.

I’m almost done with Sarah’s Keys and its very touching and gripping novel.

All those stories of holocaust and gassing chambers; we haven’t learnt anything. Did we? No. Because we still have religions fighting, we still have hatred; we still have countries despising their neighbors and people being enemy of each other.

Guess I’m too sad today.

Goodnight world!

Tied with invisible rope…wish i could stand up…!!!!

Today I feel sad and ashamed at being the person I have to pretend to survive among people with closed minds. There is nothing worse than being a part of a conversation you don’t support, but can’t let others knows…so you smile, nod and pretend to understand.

This woman in my office comes to me with a gossip and cracks joke about a topic am not comfortable talking about, but there is nothing I can do so I pretend to blend in. Whereas, all I wanted to do was tell her to get a life. I wanted her to stop being a freakin loser and stop meddling with what others do.

This has happened a lot, so many times now and today only made me realise the truth behind the world I live in. Its like im in a war only i cant fight to defend my honor. I know she was making fun of someone else but she didnt know how much it was all coming back to  me. I’m angry but its okay, I m used to it.

To make my day worst I get a huge, like huge, bill from my mobile company and the nice lovely people have charged me for my internet usage despite my asking them for an internet usage saving pack. My bill says I had no pack activated so everything I did on my phone was costing me. Man I could have done decent shopping in that money but now I have to pay them. I plan to visit them tomorrow and talk them, I know it won’t help but at least I can take out my anger. Well, to be honest I am taking my friend as I can hardly scream on anyone. Oh! how I wish I could.

I have to go to my book because I’m sad, angry, ashamed and so blue. Why can’t we have a world with no hatred, no judgements, no mocking, no discrimination and no MORONS?

Goodnight World!

P.S I have been given two blog award nominations. Will thank you my friend tazeinmirzasaad soon. Thankyou.

Wish we had a Super Hero…a real one!!!!

Sometimes I really wish I was a Super Hero, like with powers and all…I wish I was a person who could actually fly, face bullets, kick bad guys and like save the world. No, not because I think that would make me cool and people will actually never leave me. It’s because world is a crazy place and we need a super hero…someone who would fix it all.

Yesterday only I was trying to wonder what happened to the guy who open fired in Oregon Mall and this morning I saw the Connecticut school news. I understand the urge to kill self but to kill others…how could anyone do that?  Those 20 kids they didn’t just die, their families lost everything. I know I don’t even know them but I do know losing a loved one is the biggest pain in the world, everything else comes after. I have been trying to wonder what on earth has happened to people…people who can pick a gun and fire.

It’s not just the open fire shootings but everything…terrorist attacks, nations throwing bombs at each other…someone killing someone for revenge or whatever crap reason they feel is enough to do so. Taking life of a person is a big thing…how can anyone ever sleep after that?

I don’t know if world is ending on 21 dec but I do know world needs a savoir a real super hero. Only problem, a guy flying around kicking bad guy assess…it’s nothing but a comic book story and fiction is like some dreams…can never ever come true.

Every time I read or watch a war documentary or a World war story…I don’t just feel for the people who died for no reason…the innocent lot I also get sad to know about the bad guys who died. Call me crazy but I think the enemy soldiers who lost their life too had families. If I die tomorrow…it may not mean anything to you because we never met but my dying would affect people around me who love me. When a soldier dies in war even if he is from the other country, you must know that somewhere behind the uniform and gun strap was somebody’s loved one.

I think I’m just crazy but I wish we all never had to ever hear about any war, any horrible gunman firing, any sad stories or rape or murders and anything that was a result of a death of someone by another person knowingly or unknowingly.

I got to go now, my head hurts. While I condemn the world where a person tries to hurt another one I myself am trying to kill myself by not sleeping.

There are two things…actually three things that I need to work upon seriously. I need to fix my sleepless nights, I need to start workout and have to go back to reading. Funny thing I have good books with me yet I don’t read and I m so sleepy every night yet I wont sleep.

P.S – Glee is trying to screw up with my list of shows i love to love…its trying to make not like it.