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The fact that I want my birthday to come and go as quickly as a Sunday makes me sad. im a birthday person. I love a birthday, specially when its mine.
I want a miracle for my birthday, I want to stop being sad, lonely, narcissist, self absorbed, childish, immature, depressed and scared. Well it ain’t gonna happen, but that’s the beauty of a birthday you can dream of gifts and presents.
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What if i won this year’s chess, what if i got a call from the publication house, what if i actually got to share my stories with others, what if i found love and what if i end up being free from my blues…few of the ‘what if’s’ i could do with…
That’s what i did today. I drove to city all alone in the rain because i wanted to enjoy the weather. I also worked on Jane Doe a little before i went for my drive.
I bought me two books, Silent House and The Perks of Being a Wildflower. Because that’s how i tell myself dont worry. Drive in rain and book shopping is probably best way to enjoy a Saturday. Truth is everything i do is solely based on making me walk a little more. the stories, the music, the shopping and the haircut which is making me pretty much happy.
I think some of my favourite shows are coming to their end, Grey’s Anatomy, Vampire Diaries and PLL. Man! that will make me sad. Last night i saw pilot epi of Homeland. pretty impressed.
Got to go now, will spend some time on Jane Doe and then i might read or watch an episode or a movie.
Some nights i close my eyes and imagine myself living in a world where i am no longer bounded by pretenses. I try to imagine myself in a happier mode, where i meet someone and fall in love. These fictional characters and their stories take me to such world, make me live my wishes.