Did I just ruin ‘The Girl On The Train’?

Sometimes after reading a book I wonder what if things had gone down differently. What if, one of the characters had done something differently or the protagonist had walked away from something? I, often, wonder about an alternate ending and I don’t know why.

SPOILER AHEAD (for The Girl On The Train, Code Name Verity and The Boy In The Striped Pyjama)

Imagine if “The Girl On The Train” wasn’t about Rachel obsessing and witnessing the life and death of Megan Hipwell. Imagine if, it was a story of how both the women meet and swap their lives only to help each other get over the issues. I picture Rachel seeing Megan and envying her happy life, while Rachel looking at the train everyday with same feeling about happy passengers passing by everyday. And then one fine day, they meet maybe in bar, get to talking and realize how they both see each other at the same time, at that particular time when the local train passes Tom’s street.

Little drunk and emotional enough to spill things out they become friends and realize that none of them is actually happy, that the grass always looks greener on the other side. And in the end each one gets something. Maybe Megan ends up helping Rachel fight her alcohol addiction and get a job or meet someone new; at the same time Rachel ends up helping Megan walk out of her strange marriage and deal with her own issues caused by loss of the brother.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been a thriller then and probably not many people would even like it. Yet, I can’t help but wonder…

what if, there was no murder and it was just a story of two twisted women who become friends and fix each other, instead of one dying and other ending up in the suspicion of being the killer.

I had the same thought of alternate ending about my personal favorite “Code Name Verity”, though I would not change a single thing about the book even page 285 because that’s what made it a heartbreaking story. But I wonder if things had gone differently on that one page on that bridge, how would have the story ended.

Imagine if Maddie hadn’t fired her gun. I try to picture that but I wonder if that would have made the book as good as it is now.

IMG_20150805_005621

I mean you wouldn’t be swearing on the brilliance, and the intensity, of The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas if he hadn’t walked inside the fenced area and followed his friend into those chambers. I try to picture, what if he hadn’t but then what would be the story about?

There is a reason why something happens in a story, even if every part of our body wants to jump inside the scene and shake the protagonist begging her/him to not do something or walk into something.

 

 

America you nailed it cause equality is dope!!!!

Before I start, I am going say it out loud I saw Pitch Perfect today and I have no idea why it took me so long. It’s awesome. Being a Glee fan it’s no news that I love modern musicals.

So, America big day? Love is love and Ireland and USA are just where the world is looking at right now. Some with hope and others…well haters gonna hate. But it’s just amazing how we as humans are evolving and accepting that EQUALITY is not just a word. It’s a real thing.

And for those who wonder if they ever would see that word, its okay to be not okay. Sun takes time to shine, its dawn for people in America for now. World is taking baby steps and one day it would become what it was intend to be, at first place. One day world would be a free place with equality for everyone.

Right now, its 3 am the ghostly hour and I have so many things inside my head. I want to sit and talk to someone for hours, not listen but talk. Sometimes I really wish that the whole 3 am ghost thing would come true and some ghostly thing would come to scare me, I would make him or her sit and talk. I mean that’s the least he or she can do before scaring the crap out of me. Plus, ghosts won’t share your dirty twisty life stories with other people.

I’m just glad its weekend. What did I learned from past 3 days?

Gotham is turning more and more into Hunger Games and I feel less of Batman and more of Katniss Everdeen. I can literally picture myself with a bow and arrow while fighting for survival.

But then I can’t be Katniss Everdeen she is way too cool and I am one of those girls in the chick flicks who want to be friend with the cool girls. I’m not cool, I’m the girl who wants to be noticed by and be friends with cool ones. I’m not nerdy I’m just boring cause I don’t do the socially accepted definition of fun things.

BTW Anna Kendrick is so cool. Now I need to watch the part two.

I should go now cause I’m afraid one day God would fire a miracle gun towards me turn my life into everything I want, make me peachy and sunshine and rainbow, but I would not be able to cherish the Hey-I’m-Happy thing cause I would be dead courtesy lack of sleep. I read somewhere the amount of sleep deprivation that you give your body can never be recovered. Damn! Well I’m not here to sleep. I’m here to make faces at empty walls and wonder if only I was an artist. I’m here to wonder, sleep can wait.

Good night world and congratulations to America.

 

 

Dear Me-5-Years-From-Now,

Dear Me-5-Years-From-Now,

I don’t know if you and I are the same, because I’m definitely not what I was 5 years from today but I do hope you are somewhat close to being happy. Funny thing is I was never happy, not even when I think I was. I guess this is where we sing our anthem Born This Way. I, also, do hope you are still hooked to the headphones because if you are I know you are safe and you’ll make it through whatever there is 5 years from now.

It would be crazy if you are anything like what I’m today because it would mean my level of anxieties, fear and blues are just the same. No scope of decline. Please tell me, 5 years from now you have finally found a way to get up early in the morning, because I’m sure I would be a late night person even years from now. And I also hope, so hope, that you managed to travel. Please tell me, you are or were in NYC. Please say yes. Please. Please.

It’s not that things are bad right now, not really, but they are definitely at a blind turn. So, I can only wonder what and where I would be next year or 5 years down the line. Just hope, I’m still not in Gotham. That would be the saddest thing apart from many other things that could happen.

I don’t know why I’m talking to you today, guess it’s because I can’t stop wondering if things would ever change like good-change. Would I ever get to stop being Batman, will there ever be a day I would leave Gotham and what about true love? I guess, my probability of finding water on Mars is way more than finding true love on earth. So, I just hope if not love at least you would have travel stories or a new job adventures going on.

Happiness is just a word and I know even if you have some of the things that I dream about, or wish for, you’d still be not happy happy. That’s not your fault. We have been stained by the ache so bad; there is no detergent to wash it away. But, if you are traveling or doing something you love its almost being happy. Not getting panic attacks anymore is the closest to happiness you would ever be. That I know. More than anything, I wish you are no longer lying cause if you are then I guess you too would find yourself with a letter like this for the 10 years later version of me. I know you too would want to know what I want to know, if the hiding and crying has stopped or not.

Yesterday and Today were crazy days at Gotham, which made me wonder what have I earned or learned in past 8 years, in terms of the work thing. Personally, of course, past 8 years have given, taken and taught a lot.

Among all the questions of who and what I’m 5 years from now, I have to ask this…Are you still writing? Did you manage to find a way to share your stories? Dear me 5 years from now, please be whatever and whoever, just don’t give up on the stories in your head even if it’s just for your eyes, because these stories are the only thing that have kept me going along with few good people. So, I hope you still have your stories and those few good people with you. If you have, I know you are okay and I’m going to be okay whether things are not what you and I want.

Hoping and wishing best,

Little from 2015

P.S No matter what, just keep hanging on.

P.P.S If the voices in your head are still mean, ignore. Like I’m doing right now, while writing this post.