Dancing inside my head…!!!!

Everything is crazy right now inside my head, it’s all a big mess but the funniest thing is that despite of all the twistiness inside me I today mark 6 years in Gotham city. It’s a big day for me for many many many reasons. Not just because I complete 6 years in a company but because I had an unbelievable journey in past 6 years.

The day I gave my interview changed a lot for me, in fact changed everything for me. I love my self but don’t consider myself as a good person, or a responsible one, and when I see at this one and the only achievement of my life I feel emotional. Wasn’t I standing on the wrong side of the edge when I got this job? These past 6 years gave me friends, responsibility, a sense of self respect and saved me from my own darkness. Yes I’m all twisty again but the journey I had saved me.

One fine day I’m sitting in my dentist’s room with my mouth wide open and some kind of drilling equipment making scary noises, when I get a call about some job interview. I’m young, I’m lost and I’m blue in a bad way so I dismiss it but a friend of mine convinces me saying just an interview probably. I get up next day and ask myself what’s the harm in going; I have to find a job anyhow. And I walk in to an interview that changed everything.

My first salary was nothing but the feeling it gave me to my dark and twisty self, it was priceless. I have spent a large amount of my grown up life crying at night, feeling guilty and being ultra blue but when I got  my first cheque, bought a phone from my own salary, paid for my car and completed 6 years …every single moment was like God telling me ‘Hang on’…!!!

My parents are proud of me, I know they are disappointed and worried but they have a sense of pride because I’m independent. This is a big thing for me, because I have always lived in fear of being a failure both professionally and personally. So when I look at this thing that I have with this job I feel good about myself, like I’m not that lost.

Though I see myself becoming the person I was before I had this job and before I met my saviour, I feel so happy right now. I’m grateful and thankful, yes I may never sound like someone who respect what I have but I’m. Unfortunately I have lost my control over my emotions and the right-time-right-face ability.

In these 6 years I have also made friends I am so thankful for. Every time I thank God for this job, I also say thank-you for the people I met. Maybe that’s why it gets so difficult now at Gotham but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate having it in my life.

Right now I’m high on emotions and I am missing a friend, someone who made my journey an adventure. You don’t meet people so amazing just like that; you need to have my kind of luck.

This day was my Dawn when I needed it back then, just like I need one again. Some days are so important that no amount of twistiness can take it from you, so you smile even when you had forgotten to because it’s like Christmas you just have to have that shine.

 

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