World is a basket of good Apples and bad Apples, but problem is I’m a Grape…
I have a postcard from Germany, it was given to me by one of our interns Eduard, and sometimes i look at the places on the postcard and wish i could be there. I imagine myself walking on the street or the promenade pictured on the postcard.
I should better go and sleep but im hungry. One more day before i can rejoice the freedom of not getting up early in morning. I want to make myself coffee and watch a Meg Ryan movie but i have Gotham tomorrow. So i guess i have no option but to go sleep.
I’m kind of missing Snowy alot today; my room feels so empty and sad. Maybe that’s why i can feel tears threatening to fall out.
Last two days were so heavy. I kind of had a breakdown. I broke into million pieces but now im okay. Found my pieces and am trying my best to fix them.
My car got banged again and this time it will cost me more. In two years my car has gone to repair shop four times. This is crazy but im so glad no one got hurt. My brother was driving and some guy in scooter came from behind and bang. Fortunately my brother and the people on the scooter are all fine.
I need to go because i can hardly keep my eyes open.
Where did the weekend go? I mean WHOOSh it came and vanished. Monday is back and i wish i could get just one more day off. I can’t believe its Gotham day tomorrow.
Anyhow, ‘We are the Millers’ is a fun movie. So funny. The whole theater was laughing like crazy. If you are a Jennifer Aniston fan then i guess you should watch this movie and if you are not you still got to watch this one. I really don’t enjoy movies with so much of swearing and bad words for it ruins the whole thing for me, maybe that’s why i didn’t like Hangover that much and part 2 was unbearable and i didn’t dare watch part 3. Millers has lots of swearing but movie is well made, way too much better than highly irritating (according to me) Hangover.
Tonight i start with Khaled Hosseini’s ‘And the Mountains Echoed’ finally. I like this author and his first book ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ is my all time favorite. It’s so good that its one book i suggest everyone.
Hoping Monday would be kind to all of us.
3:45 Am im watching some episode and my tube-light goes off on off on..at first i wonder if i should worry after all i just saw “The Conjuring”, then i realized i rather make myself instant noodles and watch another episode for i don’t care…im that messed up.
It was a very busy and tiring day, as i was out with Dexter (how i call my brother) shopping for his birthday gift. Its his birthday tomorrow, so we went out shopping, then i dropped him home and went to play Scrabble with my friends. No one was in a mood to play yet we played for an hour before my friend decided to declare the game. BTW i was winning. Came home finished Season2 of Suits, had my dinner then we all wished Dexter at 12 and gave him his surprise gift. After spending some time on phone with my friend about tomorrow’s movie plan and scrabble schedule, i debated whether to watch a movie or episodes. I ended up watching pilot episode of “The Killing”. Heavy hardcore and heavy. Almost made me cry. The show left me curious and i want to watch more now.
That’s how my day went which also clearly says i did no writing. I dont think i will do tomorrow either.
We all get a day when something changes for us or we realize something. I have one too, a day of revelation and discovery about something that i knew for quite long but couldn’t really put a finger on.
How i would love to just stay home tomorrow all day and drown in self pity but i have a busy day. Im going to play Scrabble with friends who wont know im all blue inside and then i will watch “We are the Millers”. Jeniffer Aniston will always be Rachael Greene for me.
Its almost morning now, so i better go and get some sleep.
Today things changed, I woke up happy and smiley. Drove to work happy, singing out loud in my car, while enjoying the lovely rain. I was working with a smile on my face all day, even when I ended up in a 4 hours long meeting with my back aching I was happy. I thought this is it now my going to sulk but I didn’t; I walked out of Gotham happy. Bought me ice-cream and drove home singing along Sara Bareilles.
This is what freedom does to you. The thought of freedom made me a sunshine all day and I almost died of happiness because Friday night is here.
Right now I’m sitting all alone in my room with laptop and headphones feeling so much better, so much. Right now, right here I’m all real, all true and all me…no pretenses.
Today we, my family and I, were discussing Snowy. We were talking about him remembering his funny moments, how naughty he was his usual habits and how he used to run out of the house when our mom used to go out. He loved her a lot and would sit on the door all day to wait for her to come back, whenever she wasnt home. I found it easy this time, to talk about him. I usually can’t talk about him. Even mentioning his name can bring tears to my eyes. But it felt good to talk about him and smile at the memories.
So I’m going to leave you with Glee version of Soul Sister for I love glee and Darren Criss is awesome.
I’m missing Glee, probably because I have just watched so many of its songs on Youtube. This show will always be special to me. Will spend some more time with Glee’s amazing musical numbers.
Got to go now. Goodnight world!
This morning i woke up and heard the sad news of Cory Monteith. Cory’s death makes me sad…i don’t know him but knowing he died is sad. He was young, talented and gifted but its all has come to an end…its sad. I played some of his songs on Youtube because a part of me needed to see him. Glee is more than a show for me, because i relate to some of its characters. I see myself in Glee, somewhere in that class sitting among those kids. When Finn sang to Santana, i felt like he was singing to me.
Its been a heavy day today. I dont know if this this is good or bad, surely bad in a way but maybe good too. Dont know. I need to sleep today, my mind is blank. Like completely blank, have no emotions or feelings.
So life says ceasefire…I don’t know if its for a day or a week, but I know I can feel my pulse again and im breathing. Yay!
But stupid cold and fever won’t let me cherish the moment. Now, all I need to do is manage next 9 hours tomorrow and I have my two days of rest. No one knows what hit me and what went through my head except my one super friend. I don’t know what I would have without her, because I was losing my mind.
I wish there was some miracle for me, wish there was someone who would save me. But it’s a battle that I will lose and nothing can change that. So all I need is to make myself strong which crazy because I thought I was strong. Some Nights is my anthem right now as I listen to it on replay mode.
I cant live if im not living as me. Not being me can be lethal for me.
Okay people time for my medicine and a nap. Hope I wake up well enough to go to work, play Scrabble in evening and come home to series of episodes waiting for me. Fingers crossed!