Why I write stories…

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Miley Cyrus needs an Uncle Ben…!!!!

Being young, crazy, uncontrollable and rebellious is not hard to get. Everyone goes through it. I am 28 and i still think i haven’t grown up enough to be a good person so i don’t think i can judge anyone and ask them to grow up. But Miley Cyrus makes me wonder what’s wrong with us.

I was never a Hannah Montana fan or never was fan of Miley’s music but her behavior still makes me worry because she was once (i so hope its WAS) a big star for our little ones. The young girls who loved Hannah Montana, who sang Miley’s funky pop songs. Like i said i don’t care about Miley on personal level, not my kind of music person, but when i see her doing what she is doing my thoughts go back to my two nieces who bought Hannah Montana school bags and Hannah Montana wallets. I hope they don’t get to see what their favorite Disney star has turned into.

Because i know how, when we are young, we love to dress up or act like a celebrity we love or adore. But when you are someone people look up to, you need to know you have an influence on those who follow you.

Like that quote by Uncle Ben from Spiderman:

“With great power comes great responsibility.”

Guess, nobody told this (or anything at all) to Miley . She could use someone with few do’s and dont’s for her because we all need someone (even the sanest of us) to steer us when going off the road.

Leaving you with a beautiful song by Mandy Moore from “A walk to remember”

Can anyone die of boredom?

Im in pain and the reason, for the first time, is not my story but life in general.

I think its the fact that am bored. So bored of my work, when I ask myself what is it that do? I almost expect someone to say what Frank said to Kathleen Kelly. But then that is what happens in movies, in reality am not a lone reed. Am just a confused loner who is scared to walk out of her comfort zone.

I have been thinking about my job and I wish I could gather the guts to march into unknown.

Today im missing 3 friends all at same time, because I miss them. Yes, at same time.

Another reason am low is lack of good sleep that I make sure i never get. Why the hell cant I just sleep when I know have work tomorrow? Where is weekend? Man I feel drained out and exhausted.

I worry about people I love and today Im worried for a person who is very close to my heart. I wish i wasnt living in another city, so I could just visit and feel better. You know how when you are young and crazy in college and you think life would be the same forever. The good times, long nights, friends and carefree living, nothing will change. It does and today I feel like one of those old people who like to talk about their younger days with the words “when I was young”.

Right now am low on positivity and high on mixed emotions. Its raining outside and im hardly noticing because I dont care, im busy being worried, sad and confused.

You cant be your own friend, your own doctor, your own superhero…and when you try to, its nothing but a sad and sour reality that you are a lost cause.

I wish to take a day off tomorrow and stay home all day and indulge in self-pity, but I cant I will have to get up, drive down to work and smile at people when all I want to do is cry like a teenager who likes to believe that everything bad in the world happens to her, just her.

Goodnight world!

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Glee wont be same…!!!!

 

This morning i woke up and heard the sad news of Cory Monteith. Cory’s death makes me sad…i don’t know him but knowing he died is sad. He was young, talented and gifted but its all has come to an end…its sad. I played some of his songs on Youtube because a part of me needed to see him. Glee is more than a show for me, because i relate to some of its characters. I see myself in Glee, somewhere in that class sitting among those kids. When Finn sang to Santana, i felt like he was singing to me.

 

 

Dancing inside my head…!!!!

Everything is crazy right now inside my head, it’s all a big mess but the funniest thing is that despite of all the twistiness inside me I today mark 6 years in Gotham city. It’s a big day for me for many many many reasons. Not just because I complete 6 years in a company but because I had an unbelievable journey in past 6 years.

The day I gave my interview changed a lot for me, in fact changed everything for me. I love my self but don’t consider myself as a good person, or a responsible one, and when I see at this one and the only achievement of my life I feel emotional. Wasn’t I standing on the wrong side of the edge when I got this job? These past 6 years gave me friends, responsibility, a sense of self respect and saved me from my own darkness. Yes I’m all twisty again but the journey I had saved me.

One fine day I’m sitting in my dentist’s room with my mouth wide open and some kind of drilling equipment making scary noises, when I get a call about some job interview. I’m young, I’m lost and I’m blue in a bad way so I dismiss it but a friend of mine convinces me saying just an interview probably. I get up next day and ask myself what’s the harm in going; I have to find a job anyhow. And I walk in to an interview that changed everything.

My first salary was nothing but the feeling it gave me to my dark and twisty self, it was priceless. I have spent a large amount of my grown up life crying at night, feeling guilty and being ultra blue but when I got  my first cheque, bought a phone from my own salary, paid for my car and completed 6 years …every single moment was like God telling me ‘Hang on’…!!!

My parents are proud of me, I know they are disappointed and worried but they have a sense of pride because I’m independent. This is a big thing for me, because I have always lived in fear of being a failure both professionally and personally. So when I look at this thing that I have with this job I feel good about myself, like I’m not that lost.

Though I see myself becoming the person I was before I had this job and before I met my saviour, I feel so happy right now. I’m grateful and thankful, yes I may never sound like someone who respect what I have but I’m. Unfortunately I have lost my control over my emotions and the right-time-right-face ability.

In these 6 years I have also made friends I am so thankful for. Every time I thank God for this job, I also say thank-you for the people I met. Maybe that’s why it gets so difficult now at Gotham but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate having it in my life.

Right now I’m high on emotions and I am missing a friend, someone who made my journey an adventure. You don’t meet people so amazing just like that; you need to have my kind of luck.

This day was my Dawn when I needed it back then, just like I need one again. Some days are so important that no amount of twistiness can take it from you, so you smile even when you had forgotten to because it’s like Christmas you just have to have that shine.