Sullenessness…!!!!

Posted from WordPress for Android

Kiss me Hardy, Kiss me Quick…!!!!

Oh Julie, Oh Julie

I haven’t been able to get these words out of my head since last night, since I finished reading Code Name Verity. I have never cried so much over a book, never. In fact, I couldn’t manage through last 47 pages without sniffing and crying and sobbing. Page 285 broke my heart forever, I don’t think I can ever recover from it.

I remember going to bed with tears in my eyes when I finished Moon at Nine, but I don’t remember crying this bad on any book.

Oh Maddie, Oh Maddie

Elizabeth Wein has written a master piece with everything from WWII, Nazis, true friendship, time testing love, courage, revenge, death and loss, all weaved so beautifully into words that ripped through my heart. I dont know if she got enough credit for this one. I would like to tell her what a lovely piece of fiction she has given to us.

Dear Elizabeth Wein,

I have no idea if you relate more to Maddie or Julie or the poor Engel, I don’t know who was your favorite character when penning this book down, I don’t know if you cried as much as I cried when that bus was on that bridge and I don’t know if I can ever get these names and people out of my head, but I do know you have done a bloody too good a job with the story, the characters, the name, the emotion and thrill.

Just want to thank you for letting me meet Queenie and Maddie.

Just a fan of your book,

Little

If the story and drama wasn’t enough, this book has some amazing lines and oh the humour…

It’s like being in love, discovering your best friend

Till last page, I hoped, I prayed, I begged. But…Oh Maddie, Oh Maddie.

I am not good with reviews, never have written any so all I can say is that Code Name Verity is one fine piece of historical fiction with enough drama, action, pain and emotions to change your life. All I can say is READ IT, READ IT.

It was around 2 o’clock when I decided to finish this one chapter and sleep but when I reached that one page I couldn’t sleep, how could I. I knew I had to finish it now.

Fly the plane, Maddie

Even if it meant spending my Friday with my head in my hands and a burned out brain. I did spend spend my Friday like a zombie but I couldn’t help it.

I don’t know for whom I cried more for Queenie or Maddie. But I do know when Julie yelled Kiss Me Hardy, Kiss Me Quick and when Maddie  fired that shot, I was left in pieces.

Damn! You Nazis. In every book, you make my stomach churn but this time you went way too far. Dammit.

There 4-5 books that i would re-read again and this one goes on the top of the list.

 

Savage Garden was my savior when Chemistry was busy killing me…!!!!

Finding a Savage Garden song in the shuffle is like finding an old picture of school days…makes you smile!!!!!

Don’t be a hero. You’re my person. I need you alive. You make me brave.

Spoiler Alert – Finales for both Grey’s Anatomy and Castle have left me speechless.

I’m going to miss Christina Yang and the team Christina&Meredith.  These two remind me of Monica & Rachel, only these are  are kind of darkly, crazy and twisty but the friendship is so true, so beautiful and so strong that makes me believe in the word. The dark and twisted sisters were a big part of the show and now things are going to change with the departure of one of them. At least this time the writers didn’t kill the character but the farewell was way too emotional.

I couldn’t stop crying at-

Don’t be a hero. You’re my person. I need you alive. You make me brave.

 

 

Mixed Emotions…!!!!

There is a background score for every situation or emotion except confusion…

Versatile Blogger Award…!!!!

Sometimes i wonder about the singer behind a beautiful sad song…wondering if the heart and voice behind the song is sad too?

Anyhow, its Friday here and so i have something awesome to share. I have been nominated for Versatile Blogger Award by Make Somethings Monday.

She is talented, creative and totally knows how to make Mondays awesome. Thankyou Megan for the honor 🙂

Here are the rules for the award:

1. Add to award certificate on your blog.

2. Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger who nominated you.

3. Nominate 15 deserving bloggers with the award.

4. Link your nominees in the post and let them know of their nomination with a comment.

5. Post 7 interesting things about yourself.

 

Now i wouldn’t be awarding nominees in any order and would like to dedicate and send it to each one of you.

Seven Things about me:

1 – My favorite fictional character has to be Kathleen Kelly.

2 – I truly believe i would cease to exist if somebody took away music from me.

3 – I want to learn “moon walk”, just cant get it right.

4 – Im very emotional about dogs. Seeing a sad dog or one in pain kills me.

5 – I call my day of freedom from blues as “Dawn”, which i would like to believe is not a myth.

6 – I think my mom is Awesome but i never tell her.

7 – I cant watch Eight Below, Hachiko, Courage Under Fire, The boy in the stripped pyjamas again…specially the first two movies. I love them, i just cant get to the end without crying.

 

Drowning in self-pity…!!!!

I can’t explain today I can’t, it’s a weird day. Probably, I just need to get out of the house and breathe some fresh air. I’m stuck inside the house, inside me, inside a trance. Trapped in a self pity phase where I’m bitter and angry at everyone else for the world is moving on and pushing me and dragging me along, not waiting for a second to take a look at me. I’m like girl in a crowded super market who is surrounded by busy shoppers trying to move ahead, left and right for time is precious, but no one sees the little girl who is lost and stuck and scared.

I am mad at myself for wasting the day, lying on the couch all day feeling bluest version of blue, not writing, not reading, not moving just not doing anything but feeling weird.

Last night i saw a movie “Now is Good”, very emotional and heavy movie. I was crying and i hate it when a movie does that to me. Anyhow, i need something to make myself get out the weird trance im stuck in. Maybe i just need to let the day pass by, maybe tomorrow i will wake up better. Who cares.

 

 

 

Lost yet smiling…!!!!

           

Thankyou Little…!!!!

Maybe im just an emotionaly disturbed woman, but truth is I need signs to keep moving on. Today I made it to the semi finals of the Chess tournament and I cant stop feeling emotional and happy about it. I know its the not the finals, but it means so much to me.

Last time at this time I was sort of low and in a situation where I lost will to play. I lost my first match and I told myself it doesnt matter, I was wrong. I have spent a lot of nights telling myself im good for nothing, because all I do is give worries to people who care. But when I win a game it gives me a sign that am not a loser. A good game only helps me feel good about myself, stops me from telling myself I am a bad person.

I played well this year and I am happy I proved myself to me. Will give my best but today’s victory is kind of special to me. I had stopped playing the game and here im… back in semis.

I am going to play against my boss on Thursday…going to be tough, but I will worry about it later cause right now im busy thanking myself for holding on.

Goodnight world!!

Perfect song for the day would be Glee’s Loser like me.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone

Dancing inside my head…!!!!

Everything is crazy right now inside my head, it’s all a big mess but the funniest thing is that despite of all the twistiness inside me I today mark 6 years in Gotham city. It’s a big day for me for many many many reasons. Not just because I complete 6 years in a company but because I had an unbelievable journey in past 6 years.

The day I gave my interview changed a lot for me, in fact changed everything for me. I love my self but don’t consider myself as a good person, or a responsible one, and when I see at this one and the only achievement of my life I feel emotional. Wasn’t I standing on the wrong side of the edge when I got this job? These past 6 years gave me friends, responsibility, a sense of self respect and saved me from my own darkness. Yes I’m all twisty again but the journey I had saved me.

One fine day I’m sitting in my dentist’s room with my mouth wide open and some kind of drilling equipment making scary noises, when I get a call about some job interview. I’m young, I’m lost and I’m blue in a bad way so I dismiss it but a friend of mine convinces me saying just an interview probably. I get up next day and ask myself what’s the harm in going; I have to find a job anyhow. And I walk in to an interview that changed everything.

My first salary was nothing but the feeling it gave me to my dark and twisty self, it was priceless. I have spent a large amount of my grown up life crying at night, feeling guilty and being ultra blue but when I got  my first cheque, bought a phone from my own salary, paid for my car and completed 6 years …every single moment was like God telling me ‘Hang on’…!!!

My parents are proud of me, I know they are disappointed and worried but they have a sense of pride because I’m independent. This is a big thing for me, because I have always lived in fear of being a failure both professionally and personally. So when I look at this thing that I have with this job I feel good about myself, like I’m not that lost.

Though I see myself becoming the person I was before I had this job and before I met my saviour, I feel so happy right now. I’m grateful and thankful, yes I may never sound like someone who respect what I have but I’m. Unfortunately I have lost my control over my emotions and the right-time-right-face ability.

In these 6 years I have also made friends I am so thankful for. Every time I thank God for this job, I also say thank-you for the people I met. Maybe that’s why it gets so difficult now at Gotham but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate having it in my life.

Right now I’m high on emotions and I am missing a friend, someone who made my journey an adventure. You don’t meet people so amazing just like that; you need to have my kind of luck.

This day was my Dawn when I needed it back then, just like I need one again. Some days are so important that no amount of twistiness can take it from you, so you smile even when you had forgotten to because it’s like Christmas you just have to have that shine.